STARTING OFF WITH A BANG!

School started this week. Not for me, the kids... Hallelujah!!! I'm up at 6am, put on coffee, make the lunches, make the breakfast, check for proper attire-- no boxers showing above the waistband and NO bellybuttons below the hem cuz yeah, I am a control freak. They get herded out the door by 7:10am and I get to sit back and relax. Isn't school just wonderful?

But wait... I get up at 6am and make breakfast and lunch for ungrateful pubescent smart mouths with funny clothes and funnier hair? Then they get to hang out with friends and learn fun stuff like mummies were embalmed with wax and puffadder poison and that Pi is not really PIE.... who knew?

And I get to get up at 6am to make them breakfast and lunch, then I get to clean up after them...

Oh, but I get to drink coffee on the front porch while watching the birds and the butterflies...
well, until it gets cold out, then I will be in the house cleaning up after them, scrubbing the floors- I love it when they can dry without foot prints, don't you?

Oh crap... once again, the grown-ups get the raw deal. We get to get up early and spend the day playing maid or heading off to work where we will, no doubt, get stuck in grid-lock or have to listen to the not-so-brilliant ramblings of a co-worker with a God-complex.

Yay!,school started this week... only 176 days to go til I can sleep in...

Family...ties that bind?

I recently took a 2 week vacation. I spent the first week with my 3 youngest children travelling to visit my sister for a few days, then going to my sister-in-law's for a few days before leaving with my sister-in-law and her kids for a 'Family' vacation on the Gulf Coast. My husband and his father joined the kids and I at my sister-in-law's home Friday evening. We then all packed up the vehicles and set out on our journey to the Gulf Coast to meet up with yet more family.
It was to be a fun-filled, action-packed adventure for the entire family! Do I sound like a commercial yet???
And in fact is was quite fun and adventuristic for just about everyone.
I was a bit distracted on several levels but had a really nice time visiting my sister before her mission trip ( and helping construct VBS craft kits) and then getting to spend a few extra days with my sister-in-law before our family vacation.
She and I had time to sit by the pool with coffee ( or wine depending on the time of day) in hand and enjoy the quiet and serenity of just being. Oh, you're wondering how I had the serenity thing going on when I was traveling with a 10,12 and 13 year old? One word- GRANDMA!
Yep- my mother-in-law took the kids on little outings during the day. A trip to the mall, to a movie, to her house to hang out and bake some cookies. What ever. She also took one or two of them to stay the night with her which made for much more peaceful bedtimes.
The money for this little vacation ( or as I like to call it VACATING my real life) was budgeted closely and I really did not want to over spend. AND my oldest daughter was expecting her first child- of course not for several weeks, but she was having some issues before I left so, Mom was worried.
We were doing really good in the budget department-able to eat out and do some little extras like mani-pedis with the girls, golfing for the guys and even a Guys Day at the spa for massages.
(And yes my husband enjoyed his!)
The kids got to go to a movie without an adult tagging along then to the pizza parlor for a little snack. Of course these are both located on the main street of the resort we were at and within our sight. But they were being given some responsibility and did really well with it.
I was able to relax and have some fun- thanks to the miracle of the cell phone.
And it seems that I was right to be worried and more than little pre-occupied.
Of course my daughter called me at 2am to let me know she was in the hospital with high blood pressure and was going to be induced- 2 weeks early. And I was 2000 miles away on the first family vacation in 11 years!
We did the labor support via cell phone and text message off and on through out the day, and shortly before 7pm my daughter gave birth to a beautiful 7.8 pound baby girl. I got the pictures on my cell phone while the adults were at dinner and the kids were at the movies. I was both relieved and upset -- thrilled to have everything be ok for baby and mom, but I was disappointed that I wasn't there when my daughter needed me. That I had missed this very important event in her life. The single most life altering and wonderful thing that can happen to a woman.
But in a way I think that my not being there was a good thing. Oh, not for me at all, but for my daughter and her husband. By not having "Mom the Nurse" in the room they had to ask questions, pay attention and work together as a team thru the contractions, the scary doctor language and the pushing and pain and WORK that is Having A Baby. And they came through with flying colors and a little girl with blue eyes and the sweetest little bow-shaped mouth... who looks EXACTLY like her mother did when she was born.
Side note: My daughter has often asked WHY I had her ugly baby picture hanging on the wall. I told her repeatedly because she was so cute. She now looks at the pictures of her infant daughter and sees her beautiful little girl. Funny how she still thinks her picture is ugly but her little girl- who looks like her clone- is precious and beautiful. She is starting to understand what I have been trying to explain all her life. She is my baby and to me is perfect and beautiful- no matter what.
Back to VACATING- the baby was born and celebratory drinks were had by one and all on the Gulf Coast, her picture on my cell was passed around the table several times, and the new aunt and uncles ( and Great Aunts and Uncle) spent the evening oooo-ing and ahhhh-ing over her and making fun of me- GrandMa. Although I refuse to be called GrandMa... I am still trying to come up with something better...
We spent the last few days of vacation relaxing pool side and shopping, then drove home. I was anxious to see the new addition to the family, and to see that my daughter was indeed doing well and being taken care of. Which she was- on both counts. And my grandbaby is perfect... well aren't they all? But she is especially more so than other babies I am certain.

Now we are back at home and back into our Real Lives... and I dream of when I can next go VACATING... and of the family here in my home, and close by. Of my sister and her family 600 miles away, of my in-laws in the place they have only recently come to realize is Home, and of my husband's brother and his family 1200 miles away- all of us living our lives day to day, all of us taking time when we can to touch base with each other on the phone, in email, via text or on FACEBOOK... we take the time to connect... to keep the ties that bind secure and intact... to keep the family together, even when we are apart.

Thinking too Hard? Or not Enough?

I will admit that in recent years I have wondered if I have missed my calling, or more so, perhaps I am being called to something more but have not yet answered...
my most fervent wish in life is that I make a difference in someone's life, that the lessons I have learned- most heartbreakingly- will be able to be turned into something helpful and positive to others...
Ok- it is time for me to go back to reading my email and stop philosophizing... or thinking so hard.
My weekend was quiet and productive. Steam cleaned an entire room, scrubbed all the hardwood and kitchen floors, cleaned out the cabinets and washed all the dishes in the back of said cabinets that were covered in dust and pollen and other... cleaned the pool then sat by said pool and read, not one, but two books.
But best of all, I got to spend the early morning hours outside enjoying the cool breezes, pale sunlight filtering thru the hazy clouds and listening to the music in the voices of the tree frogs, hummingbirds, chickadees and pileated woodpecker ( that insists on tapping away on my shingles!) and acknowledging that my wants will come when it is time (but darn it the lottery or a contract on my house NOW would be wonderful).
I am always telling my children that things happen for a reason, we just do not always understand or know the reason at that time. I also tell them that things work out the way they are supposed to, when they are supposed to. This is a lesson I have been privy to over and over again all my life, and one that I am still trying patiently to learn.
In the words of the great music legend, Freddy Mercury, I Want It All and I Want It Now!

Old Friends New Again

Through the miracle that is the World Wide Web many things have been made possible. People are able to find jobs, continue their educations, find meaningful relationships, spend money on just about anything you can imagine, sell just about anything you can imagine... and find and catch up with old friends and acquaintances.
This last is what I have found interesting in the Social Networking scheme of things. Before the WWW, Social Networking is what happened when dinner parties for the boss and co-workers were thrown by ambtitous ladder climbers; cocktail parties on Friday evenings were standard operating procedure with an open door policy to all the couples in the neighborhood; back yard BBQ's and pool parties with the parents and kids from your children's little league teams were held to celebrate another game-win or lose. These were the tools of Social Networking of yesteryear.
How is it done today? Why on Classmates, FaceBook, Twitter, MySpace of course. On these inventions from the Geeks of our youth we can seek out and contact people we once knew, or knew of, with a relative anonymity that one cannot get at a Backyard BBQ.
And with this certain guise of distance found on the WWW it seems that more and more people are opening up to those who contact them from their past, and are in turn doing the same. In the not so distant past this exercise of finding out about and then contacting someone from your past may have been considered stalking. But on Facebook or Classmates it has the appearance of just being old friends dropping in to say Hi! without actually doing the dropping in part. I have found, and been found by, more people than I can even imagine. O fcourse my friends list can be divided into several groups- School Alumni I have contacted because of the reunion I am planning this year; People from the neighborhood I grew up in , which includes classmates and those who moved before attending highschool; and people from my children's extracurricular activities like sports, DeMolay and Rainbow.
This new Social Networking has allowed me, like many others, to connect and interact with others with similar interests and shared memories, without neglecting our work and home committments. It has also been very instrumental in helping me to find my Niche in life.
I have found that I am a facilitator. I have helped others to find homes, jobs, loved ones and ones to love just by knowing them and passing along info that I think they could use- a name , a link, an email address, a job posted on a site... and I find that I like it.
Now I need a facilitator to help me sell my house and get my family moved-- no takers there I see!
Until then I will continue to contact old classmates and neighbors to pass on the Reunion and occasional get togethers that now occur on a regualr basis because of the WWW and the Social Networking found there. I will also continue to email and Facebook old friends and when ever possible, meet them face to face for some old-fashioned Social Networking. Because that is truly the best kind there is. This new fangled Facebook and Twitter and Im-ing is fine, but there just is no substitute for a Saturday afternoon filled with the laughter of family and friends- old and new- coming together to share their time and thier lives with each other. To forge the bond that makes acquaintances become true friends.
So while you are reading my blog, I do appreciate it, make sure you schedule time for a phone call or a lunch or shopping date with an old friend this week. And take the time to get know some of your acquaintances a little better... an afternoon at the mall sounds like fun, don't ya think?
You will be amazed at how easy it is to make Old Friends New Again with just a little of your REAL time spent in their company.
Go Ahead... Try It!

Just Say NO!

Just say No! ... to drugs, to alcohol, to cheating, to lying, to living above your means, to judging others, to wasting resources... these are the messages we hear constantly via family, friends, media.
But there are other things some of us should say NO! to. Things we are ashamed to talk about. Things that we are afraid will make us look bad in other's eyes.
I am one of those people who should say NO! a lot more often than I do. And not to bad things...
I am ashamed to say that I should say NO! to requests from the PTA, Sports Teams, DeMolay, Rainbow, family, friends... I should, but I don't.
I teach my children that to Give of One's Self is the reason we are put on this earth. To help others when we are able, to think about the other person, or the greater good, before ourselves is how God wants us to live our lives. That if you say you will do something then come hell or high water you do it. Your word is your bond. Your Integrity is the best measure of the person you truly are. If you cannot be trusted in small things then you will never be trusted in large ones.
These are the simple truths that I base my life, and how I live it, on.
Now I have come to a place in my life where saying NO! is required more often than I want to admit, not because I am lazy or getting old or even uncaring. No, it is worse than that, for me at least. I am tired. I am literally tired of doing, going, planning, making, building, organizing, calling, begging- for the schools, the sports organizations, the youth groups, family, friends, and work. I have cut and pasted. Made phone call after phone call. Planned event after event. Often used my own money with a small hope that I would be re-paid, and more often not.
I want to say No! really, I do! But then I get a call from my Mother-In-Law. Would I go to chemo with a family friend- just to make sure he is okay on his own? Of course I can. Oh crap- I was supposed to say NO! to that wasn't I? But what if that were my loved one- husband, child, mother, father, sister, brother... alone in a world of medical terms and unknown outcomes? Wouldn't I want someone there to be with them? Isn't that what I teach my children we should do? I lead through example. My children see me volunteering, helping, giving of myself- even when I have nothing left to give. But to do otherwise would make me one of those "Do as I say, not as I do" people. That I could not abide.
And if I had said No! to sitting with a family friend while he recieved his chemo treatment I would have missed out on a wonderful, lively and intelligent conversation. I truly enjoyed talking with him about common interests, life lessons and lives we lived in the past. I gained more from him than I could have possibly given.
And that is why I continue to say YES! to so many requests for my time, energy and resources. What I gain is so often more than I can possibly give, the lessons learned, the people met, the time well spent is almost always worth any sacrifice I had to make to keep my word.
Almost.
Just Say NO!--- yes, I do say no more than I used to. I am easing into it. It is hard to change the way you have lived your life for 40-something years all at once. I think that by the time I am old and gray- okay more so than I already am- I will have this NO! thing down.
Until then, I will continue to make small strides toward that end. I will still say YES! more than I should- for my own health and welfare- but I still have children that are learning how to be good people and the only way I know to do this is by DOING what I tell them they should do.
So... please, only ask me for help if you REALLY need it... you know that I cannot
Just Say NO!... not yet anyway!

Do you ever wonder...?

Do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?
I do... and I am sure I am not alone in this endeavor. Although, I have no idea why I spend precious time wondering about these things.
I have also noted I spend time worrying about things I have no control over or cannot change.
I do not recall spending this much time on such things when I was younger- not to imply that I am older now- just that maybe I thought about what I was thinking less than I do now?
Alright, you got me. I am older. And wiser? I'd like to think so, but then that gets me thinking about things I need to remember (in case I suddenly get alzheimers or something) and the things I want to remind myself to remember ( like where I hid the cookies so the kids wouldn't find them then I forgot- they're probably stale by now anyway). Then I start thinking about all the things and people I have forgotten and that turns the wheels and the mind skids to a grinding halt reminding me of my class reunion in July ( that I am the planner of and have much to do yet) and the thought of July brings me to the eagerly anticipated birth of my first grandchild due the first week of July which brings me to... wondering when the baby will be born, who she will look like, will she be smarter than the generation that has gone before, will she be successful and happy and loved and appreciated... and why do I even spend the time wondering these things in the first place? Then comes the worry. Will she be healthy, will my daughter survive the delivery without killing her husband, will I be in town when the baby is born ( she better wait til I get back from vacation!), will she be tiny or big ( like her mother and aunts and uncles were)?
So here I am back at the beginning, again.
Do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?
My answer is no... I'm too busy wondering to actually DO anything!

It's Raining... Again!

Hey there! Today is my mother's birthday. In addition to that we celebrated my oldest daughter's coming baby in the traditional way- with a shower ( how appropo is that?).
Again add that tomorrow is Mother's Day and that yesterday my oldest niece turned 16... this is a very busy week for us. Did I mention that my oldest son was 20 a few days ago and his girlfriend became the same age the day before that?
As you can see just keeping up with the goings-on in our family can be trying and quite exhausting all by itself. Now add to the equation RAIN. Yep, that lovely life-giving manna from heaven that has been falling from the sky every single day for the last 10 days without fail. Granted, not every day has been a torrential, never-ending downpour; but quite frankly many of them have. When I have made allusions to keeping an eye out for an Ark to come floating into my back yard over the last few weeks, I have been only half-joking! The rain came down so hard on Thursday the water rushed off my roof in such a volume that it completely jumped the gutters and fell like a waterfall to the garden below. Of course it continued this way for hours at a time off and on throughout the day. And again, may I reiterate, this is not the only day in the last 2 weeks it has done so.
Upon waking yesterday I was stunned to see a brilliant shining orb of such a golden hue it gave the appearance of a highway warning sign flashing across the horizon. I should have heeded it's warning. I should have realized it was indeed flashing a warning to the unsuspecting and oh-so-naive humans below. It was shouting out, " Hey You! Stop and Enjoy My Warmth cuz I Ain't Gonna Hang Around Hear All Day Long!". Man, I should have been paying attention. Perhaps then I would have spent an extra few minutes enjoying my morning cuppa joe and watching the hummingbirds and house wrens in the yard. Perhaps I would have taken the time to walk leisurely through my yard and appreciate the new green blades of grass and the patterned petals of my clematis unfurling among the emerald green vines climbing the trellis by the walk way. Perhaps, I could have done all of these things, if only I had paid attention.
When , you may ask, did I begin to notice the lovely world in which I live? When the storm clouds came rolling in and the winds forced the last die-hard blossoms from their tenuous hold on the branches of my cherry tree. That is when I looked up and realized that golden globe was obscured from vision by grey-white, slate and nearly black ominous clouds that were moving across the sky. And with them came the electrically charged air with the scent of ozone riding high and fast. Yes, only then did I stop and appreciate the beautiful day, er part of the day, that God had given me.
So today dawned bright and full of promise for a sun-drenched day full of the anticipation of the many lazy days of summer to come. I took note of this sign of spring and renewal of life. I made the time to stop and really become a part of it. I sat on the front porch with a cup of coffee ( or 3) and watched the high floating white clouds drift along. I listened to the 'Cheerio' of the cardinals and the 'thruuuuuuuuummmmm' of the hummingbird's wings as they came and went among the garden plants below me. And I made the time to thank god for his gift of another day started with such grace and beauty.
It's a darn good thing I did too! The clouds have already rolled through bringing darkness and oppressive humidity in their wake. They have opened their floodgates and poured down upon the already soaked to over-flowing earth yet more of their liquid refreshment.
Yes it's raining... again.