Don't you think it's Time to... LEAN INTO THE LIFE YOU IMAGINE

Hey You! 

Living My Best Life--- August 2021
Trip to Cape Cod

Yes, YOU!!!

Do you feel like somewhere along the way you've given everything you have to everyone and everything, but YOU?

Do feel like you have lost who you are?

Like you don't even know who you are or what your place in the world is? 

What your purpose and passion are any more?

I know exactly how you feel. 

I understand the frustration, the feeling 'less than' and like you are just going through the motions...

Not really living, and barely feeling like you exist.

As a widow I experienced this loss of self, of purpose, of worth and value when my husband died. 

All that I was, and thought I would be, died with him.

I struggled to find my identity.

I was no longer a wife. My children were grown and starting to live their own lives so I wasn't needed to take care of them....

So I immersed myself in my work. I worked 2 jobs.

I ate little, and slept even less.

I carved out time for fun, but I felt like I was living someone else's life.

And then, I got Covid. As a nurse, working with people in their homes, we were never really sure where Covid may be hiding. Some patients were positive, but the ones who never got tested, or whose families were not being careful... well, it takes a mental and physical toll on you when you are trying to fight an unseen foe.

I have been left with long term Covid. Neurological and physical problems that NO ONE has any idea how to treat. 

This has meant that THE ONE THING that I was able to escape into... my work as a nurse... has been taken away, and with it the last bit of my identity.

So, I have been on a journey to rediscover ME.

To find myself, my reason for being, my place in the world, my PASSION.

And I have found it in the programs I designed to myself!

I have been taking some classes and workshops to become an Empowerment Mentor... and I am now offering my program,

Lean Into YOU!

To You, free of charge, because I believe it's time for YOU to start living the life you dream of living...

It's time to LEAN INTO THE LIFE YOU IMAGINE

So---

IF you answered YES to any of those questions above...

This challenge is for YOU! 

We will work together over 5 days to help you to rediscover who you are, who you want to be and why this is so important for you to keep showing up for YOU! 

Join Me Oct 4^th - 8^th at 12 noon EST

Each session will be about an hour.

And YES... there will be homework... but it will be the good kind!

I promise.

To register for the Lean Into YOU 5-day challenge

go to www.Colormeeverything.com

and follow the link directions at the top of the page.

Or click HERE and send me your name, contact info and what you want to gain from this challenge! 

A kind of love magic

 June 22 2021

I went away for a weekend last , nearly 5 days in hotels.
Hotels filled with older couples, my parents included, bickering and laughing and holding hands, speaking their own individual love languages that they have spent decades developing.
Some couples seem to be arguing, but on closer observation, or maybe introspection, I realized that is their dynamic. How they interact with one another all the time.
Other couples seem to have an unspoken language. A look, a gesture,  and the other completely understands.
One couple never said a word. They came to the lobby and got coffee and eggs, took their morning meds, sat in silence. So much so, that it almost appeared to be animosity. But, as I watched, he glanced over toward her, sipping her coffee and looking at the clouds outside... and a smile curled his mouth and his eyes twinkled.
In that moment I understood...
This was a couple who did not need words, touch even, to be completely in tune and truly happy. They were both secure and content to just BE in each other's presence.
I imagine that this is much like what an outsider would have seen , had anyone been watching, when John and I were together. Just content and secure in our relationship and our love that no words were required. To just be together, in the same room or under the same roof, it was enough to just BE together.
Being around these various couples, total strangers, warmed my heart, at times made me jealous, but always gave me hope that I will find that kind of love again.

For that glimpse into the love of these older couples...
I am ever so grateful.

Struggles and Triumphs... Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference

 I am struggling with so many covid related issues...

Good days are good...

but they are always followed by bad, or even worse, days.

There is no rhyme or reason.

No pattern.

No predictability.

No end in sight...

just endless doctors and tests and a brain that suddenly stops working...

often mid thought...

and we are left stuttering and frantically combing through our recent memory to try to figure out what it is we just lost...

oftentimes the memory is just gone.

Like a puff of smoke on a breeze.

Never to be recovered.

My hope is that by being transparent in my struggles, others will feel validated, less alone, and perhaps those unaffected or fully recovered with no long term affects will find compassion and empathy for us...

the long haulers who feel like we are losing a battle against an enemy we can not see.

Please read the article below...

This is an article that I hope will jog law makers to do more for us as we feel forgotten and unseen...

and many are near their breaking point

Many days I feel able to overcome the constant thrumming in my head with the never ending headache and body pains, joint stiffness and myriad other neurological, and emotional trials.

But some days...

The days when I cannot get out of bed, days when the pain, the dizziness, the never ending numbness and burning and sweating and exhaustion are too much to bear...

I remember that I am still here, on the planet.

That I still have a purpose . Article Written by Covid Long Hauler 8 months in

A voice.

A chance to make a difference in the world.   

And even on those "off" days...

I find a TRIUMPH....

because I refuse to give up or give in.         

Struggles and Triumphs...

Sometimes IT IS HARD to tell the difference.

Heres a little secret...

Here's  a little secret... 

When we lose a spouse we do not get over it...

We move forward...

Moving forward means they are still a part of who we are...

We have to remember that without our relationship with them...

We could not have become the person we are today.

Some of us learned what real love was...

Some what it wasn't...

Some how to be stronger...

Some how to let someone else in and trust... 

Without those lessons learned from...

or because of...

Our late spouse...

We could never be who we are now...

Moving forward into our new lives. 

Being the strong, confident, self assured...

Sometimes scared ...

and sometimes courageous...

Beautifully Broken Souls that we have become along the way.

Just my thoughts on this... 😊

YOUR Story... ISN'T Over

 Your Story Isn't Over

As we go about our lives, 

post loss

post tragedy

post apocalypse...

Our stories become richer and healing, 

not just for ourselves, 

but to so many more than we could possibly imagine!

People cross our path for a reason...

They need you to tell them your story ... 

and that encounter then becomes a part of theirs.

Both have been made better somehow, 

for the acceptance and understanding that comes from shared experiences.

And, being seen, 

and known, 

validates each person...

Helps them to feel alive and real, 

If only for a minute.

That is enough to keep them moving forward; 

keep them trying to find their place in this new life...

And that is what this is really about...

Learing our lessons as we go...

Then guiding others by sharing the wisdom we have gathered along our journey.

Searching for the Silver Lining

June 17, 2021

Today would have been our 25th Anniversary.

How ironic that I found myself here, at Hopkins, walking through the sky bridge from the parking garage and into the building, where we spent so much of our time in that last year together, on this day of all days, for the first time since you've been gone.

I tried not cry, but when I realized I had parked in nearly the same exact  place we would park to make it easier for you to walk across the bridge with your broken hip- because you refused to use a wheelchair no matter how much pain you had- I cried behind my sunglasses and mask crossing the bridge and navigating the halls we used to walk to your treatments and testing. 

The memories came flooding back.

Of the pain and the feeling of devastation when we got the final report...

But also of the love and laughter, the joys and adventures, the memories of all the days before you were sick and the days between the bad days...

Of the day we went to Annapolis and said I Do in the courthouse, of you down on your knee to propose with a real diamond ring and band on our 17th anniversary- it is the only time you were ever able to surprise me! 

And as I cried you laughed and gathered me close and said ' don't cry, be happy, we have the rest of our lives together' then you kissed my forehead and held me close.

Today I have so many emotions, memories, dreams left behind and dreams yet to be dreamt...

And in all of that, the one constant, is the love I feel from you that I carry forward with me, in my heart.

Happy 25th Anniversary 

John LeeRoye Bassford 

I would do it all again, even if it ended the same way, because Love like ours is rare and a thing to be cherished. Always.

Miss you and love you, my JohnnyAngel

What is Your Worth... You ARE WORTHY!

What is your worth?

Did you know that everyone has value? 

That every person on this earth has something that someone else needs...

No matter where we are in this life....

someone else has been there before...

someone else has experienced the same feelings, heart aches, ups and downs, triumphs and sorrows...

Someone else has wisdom to impart that they have learned along the way.'

These Life Lessons give us insight, and knowledge and wisdom that others need to hear.

These Life Lessons offer hope and clarity and help others to get through the tough times and to begin to dream again.

So... Do Not Ask Yourself What is Your Worth...

Instead.... Remind Your Self that YOU HAVE VALUE AND THAT YOU CAN HELP OTHERS FIND THEIR WORTH TOO!