Oprah and Me

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Oprah's final season as Talk Show Queen has begun.

My novel, the one SHE inspired me to finally start writing, the one I dreamt of sending to her, imagined she would love and invite me to come talk about it ON HER SHOW!
Yeah, it's not done yet so... guess I won't be sending it to her. She won't love it. She will not be asking me on her show to talk about it.

Since that isn't happening I imagined the interview myself...

Oprah: So you saw a show I did about taking charge of your life?

Me: Well, yeah. I couldn't help it. They're all about that, aren't they?

Oprah: You were so inspired by my life success that you decided to write about yours?

Me: Actually, yes. And no. I had similar experiences in my life. But I didn't get rich and famous. I got kids and a husband... or 3. I'm pretty sure you got the better end of the deal, most of the time. I kept meaning to write a book, and finally I decided to be like you and just get it done.

Oprah: Is everything in your story true? Is it all based on your life?

Me: Is it true? Yes. It absolutely is. But then it's the history of the world according to ME. The way I remember it. Some people don't remember it exactly the same way I do. That's why I wrote it. Because I know what happened, I just can't figure out the how and the why.

Oprah: Have you figured that out yet?

Me: No. But at least it's not important to know that any more.

Oprah: Then what is important?

Me: Getting the story out there so that others can learn from my mistakes. Or at least I hope they do... or else what good were they?

Oprah: Can you sum up what the story is about... why you think it may help others?

Me: It's the story of a girl who falls in love, an abusive relationship, becomes a teen mom and just keeps doing what needs to be done to take care of her family. Teens are having kids all the time now. Back then, not so much. I see the kids being raised by grandparents. See girls dropping out of school. Living on welfare. There is a better way. It can be done. I did it. I survived. That's what I want to get across. Take pride in yourself and your family. Work hard. Go to school. Make goals for yourself then make them happen.

Oprah: Is that what you did?

Me: Ummm... yeah. Did you even read the book?

Oprah: Once again, thanks to our guest and look for her book under your chairs!

Oh well. No interview with Oprah. No trip to Australia. No sitting in her studio audience.

Maybe my cable will have that Oprah Winfrey Network... kind of like watching Oprah, only different.