Take a little Trip...

Take a little trip with me...

I decided to take a trip to the beach.

It was a trip HeMan Hubby and I had planned to take...

It was the trip that was supposed to have us house hunting...

making plans to move there...
to our happy place.

The beginning of the start of our future life together.

So...
I went...
without him...

because I promised him I would not stop dreaming...

That I would carry on with our plans ...

That I would live that future we had laid out in front of us

I thought it would be hard.

I was wrong...
It was more than hard...
It was some word that has not even been invented yet because...
it's so much more than anyone can imagine.

And yet...
It was good.
And I reached a place in my heart...
A place that knows he is gone...
but also knows that he is here

Our plans are now my plans...
Our future is now my future...
Our life is now my life...

And I am okay with that.

Not " Hey the world is wonderful and I'm on top of it" kind of okay...

But Okay enough to take a little trip...
enough to start dreaming...
and planning...
and living...

Maybe even at the beach!