No Thank You Card Required... or how to turn your dad into an addict

I have just discovered that Jenny...
THE BLOGGESS...
Author of ( what I am sure will be) an amazingly detailed accounting of her (almost) true life...
Writer of satirical comments for several online publications...
And a sex toy company...


Has her own column on CafeMom!


I know! 
No one told me either.
It was a total, utterly shocking, and very nice, surprise.


For those of you who have never read Jenny's work...


And I can call her that because we are ( in my mind and if we actually lived next to each other we could be) friends... 
( just like Me and Paula Deen and Rachel Ray!)
and because it's her name.


Anyway, you should totally read what she has to say because, well...
there may actually come a day when you are facing annihilation by Zombies and...
if you had read what Jenny had to say you would, maybe, sort of, have a chance at survival.


Or, if you were in a second hand shop and saw the most awesome stuffed groundhog on earth...
we'll call him Orville...
You would know the correct technique needed to haggle a good price for him from the shop owner (or how to get the owner to give Orville to you just to get you out of his shop- whichever).


I showed HeMan Hubby some of The Bloggesses posts and...
He is hooked on Jenny like an addict on Crack!


Come to think of it...
I think I heard them call it Jenny instead of Crack on Ellen just the other day... 


And what does a good addict do?
Hmmm?
He puts the RSS feed on the desk of his FATHER's laptop so HE can become a Jenny addict too! 


Yes, I have shared a little Jenny with my family ...
And I have created a monster... or an addict...
Or a Jenny fan.


Whichever...
You Are Welcome Jenny...
No Thank You card required.

Anti-Social Media...yeah

Twitter.
Tweets.
Hashtags.
Mentions.
Pins.
Pinning.

Does anyone know what I am talking about?
Does anyone understand how these things are supposed to work?

Yes, I have a Twitter account.
Yes, I tweet.

Sometimes.

Not because I have nothing to say but because I don't know how to do it correctly.

When do you use a hashtag? And why?
And a mini-url? I know what it is but where does it come from?

I am not Twittering with Sophistication or Savvy and am fully expecting to be cut from Twitter any day now...
Bratchild says they will do that if you don't have any followers...
how about if you don't have anything for your followers to read?

And that Pinterest?
Okay... I have requested to be invited to join...
because I keep getting links to really cool things ...
like photos of idea rooms, recipes, art work and so much more...
pinned to their boards...
from online friends and bloggers for me to check out, find inspiration in and just enjoy.

The problem?

Yeah, Pinterest says I will be getting an invitation to join soon...
Apparently there is a waiting list there...
and I doubt that I will make the cut.

It's like that really cool club you used to just walk right into...
when you were 22 and looked hot and sexy in a mini-skirt and ankle boots ...
it was the 80's people...stay with me here...

but if you tried to walk in now?
That hottie at the door would have you at the curb and into a cab on your way to anywhere else before you could blink an eye!

At least that's how it feels.

I could be wrong.
I could get that Pinterest invite any second now...
And I could go to a club and walk right in and dance all night...

What?
If I'm gonna dream I may as well Dream Big!

It's a Wide, Wide, Wide... Web?

There are tons of things available on the internet that just 10 years ago were unavailable to the public at large.

There was no Facebook.
There was no Twitter.
There was no Skype or YouTube or Xbox Live.

There was AOL and chat rooms.
There was online news forums.
There was email and online shopping and research sites.

With the innovations that have grown the world wide web into a truly WORLD WIDE WEB of information and accessibility it seems that the world in general has gotten smaller, more restricted and more impersonal.

Where GoodMom and SmartGirl and ManBoy used to spend hours on the phone getting dating advice, giving dating advice, sharing wardrobe secrets and the private thoughts and dreams of the American teen...
spent hours with friends doing their hair and makeup, playing ball in the street and just hanging out and having fun...

Where I once had to shout " Hang up now!" and " It's time to come home!"...

Everything is different.
Everything is changed.


TeenBoy and SIX and, yes, even BratChild communicate with friends online...
.
BratChild Skypes with friends from her soccer team...

SIX plays video games with the kid down the street...

TeenBoy hangs out with Anime enthusiasts...

And none of them leave the house!

All of these social activities...
the ones that used to require actually getting dressed and going outside...
That required one to have an understanding of at least a modicum of personal interacting skills...
like how to meet a person with a handshake or quick hug or air kiss or knuckle thump...
how close to stand to a person before it gets to be too close...
how to make eye contact and appear interested in what another person is saying...
how to actually be in the same room with a person without being rude or offensive or inappropriate...

All of these activities and interactions can be carried on from the comfort of your own home using your home computer or laptop or personal tablet.

Okay.... I will admit that when BratChild said she was talking to D on the Xbox Live while SIX was playing a game with him I thought it was nice that the kids were finding a way to hang out together with their friends...

And then... I found out that D was not the one that lives around the corner but D, a boy SIX found online who lives in Minnesota!

The conversation went something like this...
BratChild- It's pretty warm today. It's that cold?  That's a lot of snow! What grade are you in? Do you go to school? I'm looking you up on FaceBook now...

WHAT?

Okay that is the side I heard so... it being 60 degrees out and having had no snow lately... I had to ask..
Me- Where did D get snow?  You know what grade he's in, he's in your class!

Which led to...
Bratchild- Not D that you know, this is D. He's a boy my age and he lives in Minnesota. It's really cold there. And they get tons of snow.

And then...
Me- Do you even know where MINNESOTA is?

BratChild- I know it's far away... and cold?

And then... she looked up D on facebook and then looked up Minnesota on Google Earth and then checked out the average temps and snow accumulation and... Voila!

She actually learned something... and made a new friend in the process.
But I won't tell her she learned something... that might ruin the whole experience.

I still don't like that the things that used to be done face to face...
that life lessons and life skills needed to be able to succeed are being over looked and forgotten...

But perhaps this World Wide Web isn't all bad...
maybe it's power can be used for good, not evil...
and maybe, just maybe, the skills being learned are the skills that they will need to succeed in this new world where boundaries do not seem to exist and distances no longer seem to matter...

And as long as those personal interactions and skills are learned and developed...
I guess there are good things to come of all this technology...

Sometimes I just have to look real hard to find them

Motivate Me...

I have fallen into a funk.

That place where my thoughts run rampant but my body just doesn't seem to have the energy to keep up...
That place where I find myself in the cold, dead of winter...
That place that makes me doubt my purpose in life...
and feel helpless and listless and drained.

I have been in this place more times in my life than I'd like to admit.
I always come out of it, but each time it feels like a piece of me is forever gone...
Unretrievable... although I am sure that is NOT a real word...
it is what I feel happens to me with each episode of this funk that I encounter.

I know that life is what you make of it...
I put on a happy face...
I do what needs to be done...
but my motivation to do more....
to be more....
seems to have left me.

I know that it will get better.
When the sun shines brighter...
and the earth warms in the spring....
my outlook on life will improve.

Until then, I will continue to do what I must...
to take care of those I love...
and who love me...

Because that is what a good wife...
a good mother...
a good daughter...
does...

I'm an Aunt... or is it Ant???

Yes, I became an Aunt for the ... well, whatever time on Monday.

And NO, his name is not Martin or Luther or King...
although he may be treated like one, a King that is...

Which is wonderful and awful for several reasons.

First, it's wonderful because, well a new life has come into the world and has the most amazing parents...
Secondly. it's wonderful because it is a HE ... which is what the sonograms said it would be so ...

Kudos to modern medicine on getting it right...
because, let's face it, they don't always, you know?

And it's absolutely awful because... they live 1200 miles away from The Busy Family.
It's awful because we won't get to see him, and his adorable big sister and brother, until, well, who knows when!

I am thrilled about the new baby.
He came a little early, and a little late.

He was due around the beginning of February but... well he came in January... which makes him early...
and yet...
my birthday was the 11th and I so very much wanted a birthday twin ... they run rampant in our family...
so coming on the 16th makes him just a little bit late...
but then, he is a boy and you know how independent and strong-willed THEY can be!
Okay, girls, especially the ones in THIS family, can be that way too.

So, it's a little bit awful and a whole lot wonderful at the same time ...
The being an Aunt again... or is it Ant...
You know the English language can be so hard to figure out...
Is simply wonderful...

Well, I'm off to read, or is it reed, or perhaps it's reid... oh, never mind...
I think I'll just go write, or right, or maybe rite???

Oh forget it!
Think I'll just go watch some TV...

What I did for my Birthday... or not

 

What I did for my Birthday... or not

It's 11:44pm on January 11th.
Technically, it's still my birthday for about 16 minutes.
I should be in bed now.
I have to get up early to take Bratchild to the orthodontist.
Tomorrow is THE BIG DAY...
her braces are finally coming off.

But, for now I am sitting here and reveling in the solitude of the last moments of My Special Day.
Or not.

Actually, I am waiting for my tummy to calm down so I can go to bed.
Why?, you may ask, am I having tummy troubles.

That's easy.
Because I wanted one thing, and only one thing, for my birthday.

Chinese Food.
That's right.
I wanted some crab rangoon and Kung Po chicken and won ton soup.
So, after some argument from BratChild about how no one in the family likes Chinese but me...
I mean, come one, it's my birthday so I should get to choose the food I want to eat...
and I didn't think I should have to cook dinner AND make my own cake...

I got her to pick something from the vast menu of Thai, Chinese, Sushi and Sashimi.
She picked sweet and sour chicken.
The boys wanted orange chicken and lo mein.
HeMan Hubby wanted General Tso's chicken...

Why is it when I make chicken they complain but when given the choice of any meat known to man ...
You got it, they all chose chicken!

Me?
I got my Kung Po chicken...
not because I actually wanted chicken, but because all seafood  and red meat is off limits since having my gall bladder removed 3 weeks ago.
And that leads me right back to my tummy trouble.

Apparently eating half an egg roll ( SIX said it was too much to eat so he gave me some of his) is half an egg roll too much.
And eating a spoon full of Kung Po chicken and fried rice is just that much too much.
I never even attempted the crab rangoon or won ton soup...

or the Thai calamari...

or the spare ribs...

or the lo mein...

Chicken is the only meat I have been able to eat without regret...
that is, until tonight.

So, I sit here and wait for my stomach to stop complaining as I work on the skirt I am crocheting for this weekend.
And watch the time tick by to the closing minutes of yet another birthday.

Today I am 46 years old.

Today I became one of the millions of those across the world in their mid-40's.

Today, like a fine wine that mellows with time, I have become a little better...
a little more secure in who I am and content with the life I am living...

Even if it includes TeenBoy and BratChild and SIX...

Even if I will never be able to enjoy Chinese food, or popcorn or chocolate... oh heck, anything that is really yummy, ever again...

Because today I realized that it's not how old I am...

It's how young I feel, and today...

I feel pretty darn young...

Probably about 39...

Happy New Year... I'm only a few days late

Yes, I know it is January 5th but...

I have been busy.
My laptop broke.
I haven't felt well.
I had surgery the week before Christmas.

Excuses, excuses, excuses...

Yes, these excuses are all true but...

Making time to write, or in this case, blog has not been on my list of priorities since early December.
And although I don't do Resolutions as such I have decided to set aside time each day to do the things that are important to me...
and the things that I have to do, like my freelance writing gig.

November was hectic, to put it mildly...
And December was even worse.

Add a father in law who had cancer surgery that did not go as smoothly as we had hoped.
The death of a friend and a quite unexpected gall bladder issue that landed me in the hospital and required surgery with 10 days notice...

Today seems to be a good day, even though TeenBoy and Bratchild over slept, as did we all, and missed the bus.
And SIX is home from school with what appears to be the beginning of the dreaded FLU.

I feel pretty good.
My stomach is not acting up ... no I haven't eaten yet, but then I can't really eat much since the removal of the offending organ formerly known as My GallBladder.

Good news is that I have lost about 7.5 pounds since surgery and am trying to make that number even bigger as the days of my recovery continue.

Still not allowed to exercise, other than walking...
and even if I tried I would be so exhausted after a short time that I would need a nap.

Such is the recovery from major abdominal surgery in your 40's...
Really sucks but what can I do...

My birthday is next week and my goal is to be able to get through next week performing my normal activities...
running kids here and there...
managing youth group activities...
getting some much needed house work done.

See, I don't want much....
I just want to feel like myself again...

Only better...
Thinner...
More healthy...
and Pain free...

Oh, and while I'm at it I might as well win the Lottery too!