Motivate Me...

I have fallen into a funk.

That place where my thoughts run rampant but my body just doesn't seem to have the energy to keep up...
That place where I find myself in the cold, dead of winter...
That place that makes me doubt my purpose in life...
and feel helpless and listless and drained.

I have been in this place more times in my life than I'd like to admit.
I always come out of it, but each time it feels like a piece of me is forever gone...
Unretrievable... although I am sure that is NOT a real word...
it is what I feel happens to me with each episode of this funk that I encounter.

I know that life is what you make of it...
I put on a happy face...
I do what needs to be done...
but my motivation to do more....
to be more....
seems to have left me.

I know that it will get better.
When the sun shines brighter...
and the earth warms in the spring....
my outlook on life will improve.

Until then, I will continue to do what I must...
to take care of those I love...
and who love me...

Because that is what a good wife...
a good mother...
a good daughter...
does...

I'm an Aunt... or is it Ant???

Yes, I became an Aunt for the ... well, whatever time on Monday.

And NO, his name is not Martin or Luther or King...
although he may be treated like one, a King that is...

Which is wonderful and awful for several reasons.

First, it's wonderful because, well a new life has come into the world and has the most amazing parents...
Secondly. it's wonderful because it is a HE ... which is what the sonograms said it would be so ...

Kudos to modern medicine on getting it right...
because, let's face it, they don't always, you know?

And it's absolutely awful because... they live 1200 miles away from The Busy Family.
It's awful because we won't get to see him, and his adorable big sister and brother, until, well, who knows when!

I am thrilled about the new baby.
He came a little early, and a little late.

He was due around the beginning of February but... well he came in January... which makes him early...
and yet...
my birthday was the 11th and I so very much wanted a birthday twin ... they run rampant in our family...
so coming on the 16th makes him just a little bit late...
but then, he is a boy and you know how independent and strong-willed THEY can be!
Okay, girls, especially the ones in THIS family, can be that way too.

So, it's a little bit awful and a whole lot wonderful at the same time ...
The being an Aunt again... or is it Ant...
You know the English language can be so hard to figure out...
Is simply wonderful...

Well, I'm off to read, or is it reed, or perhaps it's reid... oh, never mind...
I think I'll just go write, or right, or maybe rite???

Oh forget it!
Think I'll just go watch some TV...

What I did for my Birthday... or not

 

What I did for my Birthday... or not

It's 11:44pm on January 11th.
Technically, it's still my birthday for about 16 minutes.
I should be in bed now.
I have to get up early to take Bratchild to the orthodontist.
Tomorrow is THE BIG DAY...
her braces are finally coming off.

But, for now I am sitting here and reveling in the solitude of the last moments of My Special Day.
Or not.

Actually, I am waiting for my tummy to calm down so I can go to bed.
Why?, you may ask, am I having tummy troubles.

That's easy.
Because I wanted one thing, and only one thing, for my birthday.

Chinese Food.
That's right.
I wanted some crab rangoon and Kung Po chicken and won ton soup.
So, after some argument from BratChild about how no one in the family likes Chinese but me...
I mean, come one, it's my birthday so I should get to choose the food I want to eat...
and I didn't think I should have to cook dinner AND make my own cake...

I got her to pick something from the vast menu of Thai, Chinese, Sushi and Sashimi.
She picked sweet and sour chicken.
The boys wanted orange chicken and lo mein.
HeMan Hubby wanted General Tso's chicken...

Why is it when I make chicken they complain but when given the choice of any meat known to man ...
You got it, they all chose chicken!

Me?
I got my Kung Po chicken...
not because I actually wanted chicken, but because all seafood  and red meat is off limits since having my gall bladder removed 3 weeks ago.
And that leads me right back to my tummy trouble.

Apparently eating half an egg roll ( SIX said it was too much to eat so he gave me some of his) is half an egg roll too much.
And eating a spoon full of Kung Po chicken and fried rice is just that much too much.
I never even attempted the crab rangoon or won ton soup...

or the Thai calamari...

or the spare ribs...

or the lo mein...

Chicken is the only meat I have been able to eat without regret...
that is, until tonight.

So, I sit here and wait for my stomach to stop complaining as I work on the skirt I am crocheting for this weekend.
And watch the time tick by to the closing minutes of yet another birthday.

Today I am 46 years old.

Today I became one of the millions of those across the world in their mid-40's.

Today, like a fine wine that mellows with time, I have become a little better...
a little more secure in who I am and content with the life I am living...

Even if it includes TeenBoy and BratChild and SIX...

Even if I will never be able to enjoy Chinese food, or popcorn or chocolate... oh heck, anything that is really yummy, ever again...

Because today I realized that it's not how old I am...

It's how young I feel, and today...

I feel pretty darn young...

Probably about 39...

Happy New Year... I'm only a few days late

Yes, I know it is January 5th but...

I have been busy.
My laptop broke.
I haven't felt well.
I had surgery the week before Christmas.

Excuses, excuses, excuses...

Yes, these excuses are all true but...

Making time to write, or in this case, blog has not been on my list of priorities since early December.
And although I don't do Resolutions as such I have decided to set aside time each day to do the things that are important to me...
and the things that I have to do, like my freelance writing gig.

November was hectic, to put it mildly...
And December was even worse.

Add a father in law who had cancer surgery that did not go as smoothly as we had hoped.
The death of a friend and a quite unexpected gall bladder issue that landed me in the hospital and required surgery with 10 days notice...

Today seems to be a good day, even though TeenBoy and Bratchild over slept, as did we all, and missed the bus.
And SIX is home from school with what appears to be the beginning of the dreaded FLU.

I feel pretty good.
My stomach is not acting up ... no I haven't eaten yet, but then I can't really eat much since the removal of the offending organ formerly known as My GallBladder.

Good news is that I have lost about 7.5 pounds since surgery and am trying to make that number even bigger as the days of my recovery continue.

Still not allowed to exercise, other than walking...
and even if I tried I would be so exhausted after a short time that I would need a nap.

Such is the recovery from major abdominal surgery in your 40's...
Really sucks but what can I do...

My birthday is next week and my goal is to be able to get through next week performing my normal activities...
running kids here and there...
managing youth group activities...
getting some much needed house work done.

See, I don't want much....
I just want to feel like myself again...

Only better...
Thinner...
More healthy...
and Pain free...

Oh, and while I'm at it I might as well win the Lottery too!