Welcome to the New and Not-So-Improved Dawning!

 Hey There! 

 I know. 

It has been a month of Sundays and a couple Blue Moons since last I posted here.

Life got in the way... in a HUGE way.

All the kids have graduated high school and grown. 

Some have finished college and have real college degrees! 

 And HeMan Hubby got cancer...     and then he died.                                                                                                  

And just when I thought I was going to be OKAY...

I had to hurry up and sell our home of 25 years before it got foreclosed on... ( that's a whole other story)

So, 1 year ago I moved out of the home The BusyFamily had lived, loved, celebrated and, yes, had hearts broken in, even died in. 

I am now living with SmartGirl and Manchild, in her home.

My credit was destroyed. My life torn to shreds. I have been discarded by people I thought were my friends. I have been cast aside by people who promised to help and care and love me. 

I have been put down and made to feel 'Less Than'.

I have been made to doubt myself and my motives for all that I do.

And in the process of all of this I have had to come to terms with the loss of HeMan Hubby. The loss of the life I had and all that we had planned for our future. I have had to try to figure out who I am, what my purpose is and where, exactly, I fit in in this new life that I never asked for.

So... Many moons ago, I started a blog. I called it Dawning because I was being open, honest and real about my life, and my quest to find myself as my children grew up and no longer needed me. As my husband and I found ourselves with more time together and were learning to be adults who loved each other, liked each other and were still in love with each other.

The turns that LIFE has thrown my way are not unique to me. 

They are not new or rare.

And that is why I am back here. Why I am putting it all out there...

Openly and honestly. My hope is that as I travel this new road, live this life I never wanted...

That you come find a common thread, find some peace, a truth, a connection that brings you along with me, and in the shared journey we are able to find our place, our truth and heal...

Together.

Super Heros have Birthdays Too!

Dear HeMan Hubby,
Today is 2 months and 9 days since you left.
Today is your birthday... the 1st one without you here to tease me about still being older than you even though today makes , or made, us the same age...
A lot has changed. A lot is changing.
When I think of how we spent Valentine's day this year talking about our plans to move to Florida when you were well...and how a week later everything started to unravel...
You you went from having 15 to 20 years to maybe 5 years to 6 maybe 9 months... and then you were gone... just 3 months and 8 days after we made those plans to move... when you were well.
You are well now. Not here with me like we planned... but you are well and whole and no longer in pain... which is what I prayed for every day since your diagnosis.
It just came in the one way I didn't want it to come.
But my birthday wish for you came true... you are well.
I know you are with me.
I feel you in my heart and see your smile in our children's smiles, and when I am alone in our room I feel you beside me, holding me and hear you telling me it will all be okay... I miss you more then I thought could be possible but I am okay, because you are with me.
I love you.
HAPPY 52nd Birthday to the love of my life, the one who made me whole and made me feel loved every minute of every day.
I miss you John LeeRoye Bassford and dream of the day when we will be together again...
You are...
And will always be...
My Super Hero

Link to BratChild's facebook tribute to her SuperHero Dad! 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1977397842305132&id=100001048060376

Dr Phil... He's Stirring Up Trouble on ReRuns

After yet another terrific night of no sleep I found myself wide awake at 5:57am
Once I had ascertained the time was indeed AM and that the day of the week was in fact Saturday...
meaning I did not have to wake anyone for school or work...
meaning that I did not actually HAVE to be awake at all...

I found myself channel surfing to occupy my sleep-deprived brain...
as I attempted to lull myself back to sleep.

I was unsuccessful.

After watching Nate Berkus redecorate a lady's house that had become a 70's time capsule...
and re-pinning about 100 DIY and craft projects and life hacks that I will never, ever get around to using...

I realized that a Dr. Phil re-run from 2010 had come on at some point.
And this is the statement that pulled me out of the world of pinning...

"The average stay at home mom has 30 hours of leisure time a week..."

Evidently, some guy, okay he's some kind of doctor...
the PhD kind, not the M.D. kind...
I think...
did some kind of study...

And that study somehow came up with 30 hours of leisure time in the average mom's life...
using these definitions as to what leisure time is...
according to the man who did this study...
Of course.

Organizational leisure time is:
Volunteering, clubs, church

Entertainment/Social leisure time is:
events, movies, parties

Recreational leisure time is:
sports, hobbies, travel

communication leisure time is:
Media, conversation, reading

So, using the above, leisure time would include ...

traveling from home to preschool to drop off and pick up kids... travel category

running through Walmart, Sam's club and Dollar Tree to get all the shopping done in the 2.5 hours the kids are at pre-k... sports category

repainting the wall where the 3 year old drew a pretty picture in Sharpie while you were hosing off the 2 year old in the kitchen sink after she "helped" you make pancakes, even though you weren't actually planning to make any pancakes... hobby category

drinking a cup of coffee and reading the back of the Clorox 2 box while waiting for the 1st load of laundry to be ready for the dryer at 5:30 am before you have to wake the rest of the house up at 5:45... reading category

Yep... I am positive that I had more than 30 hours of leisure time a week back when TheBusyFamily offspring were... 18, 14, 9, 3, 18 months and 6 weeks old... and at anytime before or after December of 1998 ( that's when they were those exact ages...)

Of course, the leisure time was fit in between the full time be at home Mommy duties and my 'real' job as a full time pediatric night nurse...

And I had the audacity to complain about being tired and never having enough time to get everything done...

Silly me!

Just When You Think You've Got It All Figured Out...You Don't!

Yeppers!

That is EXACTLY the  way my life seems to go.

Oh, let me back up a bit in case you are new to my blog...
Or you have forgotten who I am since my last post was about a hundred years ago!

My name is Dawn- aka BusyMom.
I have a husband, HeMan Hubby, and 6 wonderfully appreciative and supportive and loving children...
Oh, all right!
I have 6 children...
who are all of those things,just not usually to any Parental Units...or not often anyway.

My oldest is GoodMom and she is 30-something and a great Mom to FancyPants and BabyG...ages 2 and 4.

SmartGirl is nearly 30 and looking  for Mr.Right-for-Life-not-just-for-now...anyone know any wonderful, smart, witty guys that would love to fall in love with a wonderfully loving,honest, smart and witty strong-willed girl? 
I mean seriously, where are young people supposed to meet the right person when all they do is work?

Number 3 child, ManChild, is my oldest son and will soon be hitting his mid-twenties. Which means that he will now be expected by all and sundry to have his act together. 
Early 20's, well you can get away with not  having a life goal but now... not so much.
Good thing he has one and is actively working toward it with his long-time girlfriend Jules...
who I hope to call daughter sooner rather than later...

TeenBoy is 18 and will graduate from High School in June... yeah, I know, no explanation required.


Last but not least are BratChild and SIX. 
BratChild is almost 17 and has a job and plays varsity sports and gets good grades...she is a dream ...well for a teenaged girl that is.

And then there was SIX... which is how he got the moniker...and he wishes it were is his real name. Go figure!
HeManHubby wanted to name him Six for real and I thought, "that poor kid will hate us for naming him that!". Quite erroneously as it turns out.
SIX is 15 going on 30. He is quietly reserved but he is quick with a joke and never an unkind word to anyone... he's the person no one can be mad or sad or depressed around. 

Many people think BratChild and SIX are twins. They are not, but only because they were born 17 months apart... other than that, yep, twins.

So, back to my regularly scheduled post for today...
I had time off work  while the people I work for went on vacation for 2 weeks in January.
Yeah, winter vacay!
No,  not really. Because...

The heat pump started acting up... oh and it has  black mold inside too...
Must be replaced! $$$$$$$

TeenBoy's car needs a little sensor to pass emissions...oh and it's 250.00!

Yearbooks- 3 of them- must be ordered ASAP...100.00 each?
Oh yeah Mom I need to order my cap and gown...45.00  please!

It's Okay I tell myself.  I'll work extra shifts for the next 2 months and it will all work out perfectly...

And then it snowed. And snowed. And snowed...then sleeted.
And I shoved my way out the door at work that had been iced/snowed shut.
And I hurt my shoulder.
And I cannot work.
And snow removal is not in my scope of practice so...
I can't work either job and I won't be getting paid either.

The best laid plans of Mice and Men...

Well, you get the picture...Just When You Think You've Got It ALL Figured Out...

YOU DON'T

Procrastination... It's Making Me Wait!

Why is it that when you have a million things you need to do ...
You spend your time doing all those little things that are just busy work?

Yep, that is what I have been doing all morning.
Little tasks that needed done, but not emergently or anything.

Instead of writing
or doing dishes
or laundry
or getting all the tax documentation together...

I updated my Google calendar.
I took care of some bills... did you know that auto payments scheduled for the 30th of the month reschedule themselves for the 29th if there is no 30th?

Now you do... You are Welcome!

I finally got the sweater I knitted steam blocked.
And then I worked on the pleated skirt I'm crocheting until I ran out of yarn...
Now I have to add running to the store for more yarn to my list of things to do... yay?

And I watched, and subsequently deleted, about half the junk I had DVR'd the last few weeks.
And then I went through the pile of junk mail...
and found the Emissions Notice for the truck that is due...last Friday?
oops!

Then I updated my status on FaceBook and tweeted some links for my other blog (Color Me Thin)
and checked the tweets from TeenBoy's AP History teacher to make sure I know what his homework really is...

And I listened to SmartGirl's lungs to ascertain whether she is actually, really and truly dying...
not to worry it seems to be a sinus thing, not a lung thing.

I took a shower and actually did my hair.
I cleaned out my makeup basket and made note of the Covergirl  Outlast lipcolor numbers that I simply adore and seem to have run out of. They go under yarn on my new mental shopping list.

Placed my Melaleuca order ... almost out of the hair spray that keeps my hair from frizzing and the facial cleanser that gets rid of my wrinkles and fine lines...not to mention some nice moisturizing body wash... and all made to be environmentally friendly...

Yes, I have spent the morning doing busy work and now...

I'm ready for a nap.
Quick before BratChild and SIX get home from school and I have to take them to pick up a pair of LAX goggles for her and some socks for him.
And Outlast.
And yarn.

Or I could do the dishes or the laundry or...

Or I could just sit on the couch and look at TV...

Yeah... that sounds good.

Procrastination... the name of the game for today.

I'm an Aunt... or is it Ant???

Yes, I became an Aunt for the ... well, whatever time on Monday.

And NO, his name is not Martin or Luther or King...
although he may be treated like one, a King that is...

Which is wonderful and awful for several reasons.

First, it's wonderful because, well a new life has come into the world and has the most amazing parents...
Secondly. it's wonderful because it is a HE ... which is what the sonograms said it would be so ...

Kudos to modern medicine on getting it right...
because, let's face it, they don't always, you know?

And it's absolutely awful because... they live 1200 miles away from The Busy Family.
It's awful because we won't get to see him, and his adorable big sister and brother, until, well, who knows when!

I am thrilled about the new baby.
He came a little early, and a little late.

He was due around the beginning of February but... well he came in January... which makes him early...
and yet...
my birthday was the 11th and I so very much wanted a birthday twin ... they run rampant in our family...
so coming on the 16th makes him just a little bit late...
but then, he is a boy and you know how independent and strong-willed THEY can be!
Okay, girls, especially the ones in THIS family, can be that way too.

So, it's a little bit awful and a whole lot wonderful at the same time ...
The being an Aunt again... or is it Ant...
You know the English language can be so hard to figure out...
Is simply wonderful...

Well, I'm off to read, or is it reed, or perhaps it's reid... oh, never mind...
I think I'll just go write, or right, or maybe rite???

Oh forget it!
Think I'll just go watch some TV...

What I did for my Birthday... or not

 

What I did for my Birthday... or not

It's 11:44pm on January 11th.
Technically, it's still my birthday for about 16 minutes.
I should be in bed now.
I have to get up early to take Bratchild to the orthodontist.
Tomorrow is THE BIG DAY...
her braces are finally coming off.

But, for now I am sitting here and reveling in the solitude of the last moments of My Special Day.
Or not.

Actually, I am waiting for my tummy to calm down so I can go to bed.
Why?, you may ask, am I having tummy troubles.

That's easy.
Because I wanted one thing, and only one thing, for my birthday.

Chinese Food.
That's right.
I wanted some crab rangoon and Kung Po chicken and won ton soup.
So, after some argument from BratChild about how no one in the family likes Chinese but me...
I mean, come one, it's my birthday so I should get to choose the food I want to eat...
and I didn't think I should have to cook dinner AND make my own cake...

I got her to pick something from the vast menu of Thai, Chinese, Sushi and Sashimi.
She picked sweet and sour chicken.
The boys wanted orange chicken and lo mein.
HeMan Hubby wanted General Tso's chicken...

Why is it when I make chicken they complain but when given the choice of any meat known to man ...
You got it, they all chose chicken!

Me?
I got my Kung Po chicken...
not because I actually wanted chicken, but because all seafood  and red meat is off limits since having my gall bladder removed 3 weeks ago.
And that leads me right back to my tummy trouble.

Apparently eating half an egg roll ( SIX said it was too much to eat so he gave me some of his) is half an egg roll too much.
And eating a spoon full of Kung Po chicken and fried rice is just that much too much.
I never even attempted the crab rangoon or won ton soup...

or the Thai calamari...

or the spare ribs...

or the lo mein...

Chicken is the only meat I have been able to eat without regret...
that is, until tonight.

So, I sit here and wait for my stomach to stop complaining as I work on the skirt I am crocheting for this weekend.
And watch the time tick by to the closing minutes of yet another birthday.

Today I am 46 years old.

Today I became one of the millions of those across the world in their mid-40's.

Today, like a fine wine that mellows with time, I have become a little better...
a little more secure in who I am and content with the life I am living...

Even if it includes TeenBoy and BratChild and SIX...

Even if I will never be able to enjoy Chinese food, or popcorn or chocolate... oh heck, anything that is really yummy, ever again...

Because today I realized that it's not how old I am...

It's how young I feel, and today...

I feel pretty darn young...

Probably about 39...

Happy New Year... I'm only a few days late

Yes, I know it is January 5th but...

I have been busy.
My laptop broke.
I haven't felt well.
I had surgery the week before Christmas.

Excuses, excuses, excuses...

Yes, these excuses are all true but...

Making time to write, or in this case, blog has not been on my list of priorities since early December.
And although I don't do Resolutions as such I have decided to set aside time each day to do the things that are important to me...
and the things that I have to do, like my freelance writing gig.

November was hectic, to put it mildly...
And December was even worse.

Add a father in law who had cancer surgery that did not go as smoothly as we had hoped.
The death of a friend and a quite unexpected gall bladder issue that landed me in the hospital and required surgery with 10 days notice...

Today seems to be a good day, even though TeenBoy and Bratchild over slept, as did we all, and missed the bus.
And SIX is home from school with what appears to be the beginning of the dreaded FLU.

I feel pretty good.
My stomach is not acting up ... no I haven't eaten yet, but then I can't really eat much since the removal of the offending organ formerly known as My GallBladder.

Good news is that I have lost about 7.5 pounds since surgery and am trying to make that number even bigger as the days of my recovery continue.

Still not allowed to exercise, other than walking...
and even if I tried I would be so exhausted after a short time that I would need a nap.

Such is the recovery from major abdominal surgery in your 40's...
Really sucks but what can I do...

My birthday is next week and my goal is to be able to get through next week performing my normal activities...
running kids here and there...
managing youth group activities...
getting some much needed house work done.

See, I don't want much....
I just want to feel like myself again...

Only better...
Thinner...
More healthy...
and Pain free...

Oh, and while I'm at it I might as well win the Lottery too!

It's Great to Be...

Today was a busy day. 

And tomorrow?

It promises to be even busier than today.

Why? 

Why do I do this summer after summer, football and soccer season after football and soccer season?

Oh, you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

Then I envy you.

No, I ENVY you...

You must be one of those lucky families whose kids don't play sports or join clubs or have friends who all seem to live across town...

I SO want to be that family...

I think...

Or not...

Never mind...

You can keep your life...

and I'll keep mine...

Shhhh...

Don't tell the kids but I think I would go mad with the inactivity of those other families lives so...

Back to being BusyMom to TheBusyFamily...

Ahhh... It's GREAT to be back! 

The Grand Tour... yeah, it's about culture

There is a reason that in the old days girl children were sent off to finishing schools when they were about 12 and only returned home long enough to try on the trousseau before the wedding took place and she was whisked away to spend the rest of her life nagging some poor unsuspecting guy to death.

If not for this quaint little custom I firmly believe that the human species would have died off long, long ago.
There are 2 reasons for this...

1)     if the girls had remained at home throughout the teen years... and please remember that beating children was still very much legal... well, I doubt many girls would have made it to the age of marrying off. Which is sad as they only had to make it to 14!

2)     by sending girls to live in all-girl boarding schools where they had no contact with guys of any age, but most especially anyone they would actually be interested in hanging out with, made them so starved for attention from any guy that they were much more amenable to an arranged marriage.

Of course, now that teen aged girls are totally horrendous beings, and beating them into submission is not an option, Swiss finishing schools are no longer in fashion. And let's face it, even if they were who on earth could afford to send their whiny, bratty, spoiled little angel to one anyway? Other than the obscenely rich and famous that is?

And then there is the Grand Tour. This is something that those of good breeding and culture did every year or so beginning around the turn of the century and on into the late 1920's...The Great Depression and all that.

Bribery is what the Grand Tour was. Honest to goodness basic bribery. I mean what girl doesn't want to go to Paris and Milan to buy their clothes? Who wouldn't be thrilled with the thought of meeting a rich and handsome guy with an accent who would sweep them off their feet?
Yep, sure wish that kind of thing was still done, or at least affordable enough to come back in style.

But no, instead we get to ground our children. We deprive them of their possessions until they earn them back with good behavior. Like a PlayStation or Xbox 360 or iPod can even come close to the bargaining power of a trip across Europe.

And the sad part is that this generation of bratty, spoiled teens has no idea what they are missing...
guess it's cuz they aint got no breeding or culture.

Mama's Losin It... post prompts to get you in the mood...

For WRITING ...


Each week the masterminds at Mama's Losin It come up with several thought provoking, imaginative, or just plain old silly ideas for blog posts.


This week I am using #5 as my inspiration to get back into the blogging routine...
Enjoy! 

 It's hot, the kids are home and crazy, our pets are panting, the days are long...share your number one Summer Survival Tip.


Okay. 
First, let me start by asking you a question... a serious one, I swear.


What makes anyone think that parents actually survive the summer school vacation with any of their mental faculties intact?
Yes, we are the grown ups.
And yes, we make the rules in our homes.
And again yes, we wanted these precious little miracles of nature ...


But that in no way means that we actually have any survival tips for making it to the end of the summer holidays without going insane from the constant litany of ...
"I'm bored"
"There's nothing to do"
and the ever popular... " it's too hot to go outside"


Here at TheBusyFamily home we have all the amenities of a four star hotel.
We have central air. 
We have a lovely, large outdoor pool.
We have an enormous deck leading to the afore-mentioned pool and...
We have a large, predominantly shady back yard that is just filled with wild honeysuckle and butterfly bush and the butterflies, hummingbirds, songbirds, rabbits and deer to go with it.


And yet, even in this wondrous environment where a child can play soccer or volleyball or shoot some hoops; where breakfast can be eaten poolside at noon before a quick dip in the refreshingly cool water; where a tent can be pitched in a matter of minutes for an impromptu camp out complete with fireside scary stories and s'mores...


Yes, even in this haven of summer school vacation fun and laughter the children of  TheBusyFamily grow bored. 


They complain.
They bicker and argue.
They spend a lot of time in their rooms, staring at the ceiling.


While I, BusyMom of TheBusyFamily, take the opportunity to soak up some sun, take a dip in the pool, read a book or just sit and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature that I am lucky enough to have here at TheBusyFamilyHomestead.


So... for those searching for the secret to surviving the summer months my tip for you is simply this...


Do not seek to just survive...
seek to enjoy every minute you have to the fullest...
let your children see this joy so that they may learn to enjoy and appreciate what they have through your example.


Spend time with them. 
Get to know them.
But most importantly, do not be afraid to make them go out and get hot, get dirty, do chores around the house and yard... 


Be spontaneous. 
Be fun.


Be the kind of parent you want your children to grow up to be...
And you will do more than survive the summer...


You might even find out that you actually LIKE your kids...
but do not expect them to like you in return... 


At least not in public

The Importance of being...Present?

I am going to be a Grandma.
Well, technically I am already a grandma...
so actually I should say I am going to be a grandma... again.


GoodMom, my oldest child, is expecting a bouncing baby boy in August.


We are so happy.
We are so excited.
We are so not looking forward to it.


Not that we aren't anxiously awaiting the new baby's arrival.
We are.
But I am not.

My mother in law planned a special surprise trip for HeMan Hubby's birthday.
In July.
Except that the trip will over lap into August...


There is a very real possibility that we will be away when the new baby comes.

Ok, not the end of the world... except...

I was away when FancyPants was born.
Yes, it again was a family trip with HeMan Hubby's family.
And it was planned so that we were away 2 weeks before FancyPants was due...


However no one told FancyPants she had to wait for her due date and she was born while I was on the Alabama coast... 18 hours away.


I am hoping that the new baby, despite being a boy as we all know they do not tend to listen well, will pay attention to his Grammy and wait until his due date to arrive.


When I will be in the same state.

When I will be able to hop in the car and dash to GoodMom's side.


When I will be able to see my lovely daughter hold her new baby for the first time.




But then, he is a boy ...
so I won't be getting my hopes up...


Much.

Happy Birthday... Again!

The month of May is a busy one in TheBusyFamily house.

Birthdays abound.
Graduations commence.
Final exams are suffered.

Today BratChild was born.
14 years ago.
It was a bright, sunny Sunday morning when she exploded in this world.
And I do mean exploded.
If not for the quick reflexes of HeMan Hubby she may have ended up on the hospital room floor.

Lucky for us he was paying attention.
Lucky for her he knows how to catch... without a mitt!

Julalapoo- Manboy's girlfriend of 5 years- had a birthday 14 days ago.
ManBoy had a birthday 13 days ago.
My niece had birthday 10 days ago.
My mother had a birthday 9 days ago.
My son from another mother has his birthday tomorrow.
My niece graduates from high school in 3 days.
TeenBoy has been taking high school requirement exams all week...
with more than passing grades...
such a rare occurence for him... to do the work I mean... not the being smart enough to pass part

Mother's Day was thrown in there amid the birthdays.
Memorial Day is thrown in amid the exams and the graduations.

Yes, May is a very busy month for TheBusyFamily...

Thank God it's nearly done...
Except...
June is even worse!

Another Day Another Dollar...

Or in this economy it's more likely to be a quarter.

It's that time of year. Time to clear out the old and bring in the new... er, no, that's not right.
It's time to clear out the cobwebs and dust, move the furniture to see exactly what the kids have hidden underneath, clean out closets and cabinets filled with winter clothes and coats and shoes that no longer fit anyone in my household.
That's what time it is.
Once the floors are clean and the corners of the rooms are cobweb free it's much easier to settle into the routine of winter.
Days spent indoors, instead of out, watching all those shows I DVR because I can't seem to stay awake past sundown...
Days spent baking cookies for the holidays and searching out recipes for new things to make for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.
Days spent making gifts for family and friends... crocheting and knitting while watching all those DVR'd shows or Hallmark Countdown to Christmas movies.

I love this time of year.
Not only do I get to de-clutter and clean, but I get to relax and enjoy being home.
Football and Soccer season have finally ended. Not that I don't love them as much as TeenBoy, BratChild and SIX do, but they've been going since mid-summer and quite frankly, five months of practices and games and cleaning uniforms and cleats... there is a limit to what a BusyMom wants to do.
Now we can sit down to dinner, together, instead of eating on the run on the way to some ball practice or another.
Now I can make dinners that don't have to be portable or pre-fab frozen deals that can be microwaved in a snap.

Yes, now I can do all of these things...
but will I?
All?
Probably not.

Just when you start thinking your kids are growing up... Think Again!

Kids.

You gotta love tthem.

Except when you might actually hate them.

But then, you don't really hate them, you just don't like them so much.

Anyone with teens knows what I mean.

Exactly what I mean.

Today I am not so loving TeenBoy and Manchild. 

Why?

I used to have a really nice breakfast bar on my kitchen island.

Now I have a really nice partial breakfast bar on my kitchen island.

And a really pretty piece of butcher block pine...

Yeah, today I am so not loving those boys.

Happy Halloween...

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year.

I know, it's not a REAL holiday, but then again, it kinda is.

Parents spend time with their kids.

Laughing and playing make-believe and just enjoying being together.

Carving pumpkins, dressing up,
watching It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

At our house, on Halloween night, we got dressed in our costumes as soon as we got home from school.

Then we gathered around the kitchen table with our pumpkin.

Mom only got one, but it was HUGE.

When we were little she would cut the top off, then hand us all a big spoon.

We would all dig in and start scooping.

Happily, we dug out handfuls of seeds covered in gooey slime, chunks of pumpkin flesh.

Next came the argument, there always was one, about who got to draw the face.

And, who got to cut it out.

My older brother usually got this honor... he WAS the oldest of the 4 of us.

Once the face was drawn, cut out and the candle was lit... 

Our Great Pumpkin took up residence on the front porch, keeping watch over the street as the sun went down, the street lights came on and the Ghosts and Goblins and Power Rangers and Cinderellas came out of their homes and swarmed into the night.

Dinner was spaghetti. 

Nearly every year it was spaghetti.

Easy to make, quick to eat and good fuel for trekking through the neighborhood, lugging a pillowcase full of treats.

And filling enough to make eating too much candy uncomfortable when we got home.

Candy had to be checked, sorted and traded before heading off to bed, visions of Jack-o-lanterns, ghouls and strobe lights in our heads.

And plans for what we would be next year already in the works.

I still make spaghetti for dinner on Halloween.

And, we still carve our pumpkins before the kids head out to gather their treats.

Checking and sorting and trading still takes place, only now it's my kids doing it, as I look on and remember the nights of my childhood with my brothers and sister...

And how our family came together for one night of the year, not because we had to, but because, candy was involved!

Writer's Workshop... How I see myself

I see myself in my children around me every day...



In the traditions and little things we do together...







Like Christmas morning breakfast...




And gathering around the tree





















Spending time AND enjoying each other's company...



















And in my child's Child...







All that is good in me comes out in them...





That is how I SEE My Self.

10% Luck 20% Skill 15% Concentrated Power of Will...

The BusyFamily Theme song!


TeenBoy's football team hasn't won a game all season.

BratChild's soccer team wins more than they lose.

SIX's football team is about even in the wins and losses.

And yet, no matter how many wins or losses, my kids go out on that field day after day to practice; week after week to meet the competition head on, giving 100% of themselves, and more.

This is what makes them winners... no matter the score.

I want to be as focused and dedicated to the things that are important to me as they are.

Sometimes, your kids can teach you a lot...

All you have to do is pay attention.

Resolutions Revisited

It's been a while since I made my New Year's NOT Resolutions.

Umm, like 8 1/2 months?

And it's been nearly that long since I have thought about them. Well, I think about them often, I just don't look into myself to see if I am actually achieving any of these non-resolution goals.

Today I think it is time I did.

1) I wanted to get healthy, regardless of weight-loss or non-weight-loss, I wanted to eat better and exercise.

Well- I am dong both. Yay Me! I walk several miles several days a week. I have been swimming in my backyard pool- need to do more of that before it's too cold! And I have been eating better. More fruits and veggies, less Ben &Jerry's and chips.

2) I wanted to be a better mom.
Okay- so that is not going as planned. My children have not suddenly started to WANT to be around me, but then they don't run screaming from the room as soon as I enter either so... that's a good thing, right?

3) I wanted to feel better about myself and where I (and my family) am headed- financially, emotionally, and physically.
To that end we are working on home improvements that we are hopeful will help us to get our house sold sooner- rather than later- once we put it back on the market... after football and soccer season is over, of course. ( part of the being a good mom thing there... kids need to finish the season with their friends... it may be their last in Maryland! )

4) and not really the final, but for today it is... I wanted a better relationship with HeMan Hubby.
I think we are doing better than we have in a very long time. He still works entirely too much. And I still spend entirely too many hours doing things with/for/because of the kids and helping friends in need...but the time we spend together has been full of playful banter, warmth and happiness. He even spent an entire week on vacation with the kids and I and DID NOT work... I think we are connecting more than when the kids were little... maybe because they aren't little anymore?

Whatever the reason, or the facilitators, life is good in our home. And our relationship is solid, and a true partnership.

I hope that our children see this and seek to find something similar in their own relationships as they grow.

Then my ultimate goal will have been reached...

to raise productive members of society... who live anywhere but with me!

He Said She Said ... What?

The BusyFamily recently took a road trip South to visit other BusyFamily branches.

In preparation for the trip BusyMom took the vehicle in for a check-up.
Oil Changed
Washer fluid refilled
Brakes checked
A/C .... whoa! A/C???

Yep, the A/C is broken.

I told HeMan Hubby it was, back in March, when we apparently did not speak the same dialect.

He SAID he understood.
He SAID the part was a recall issue and was being ordered...
back in MARCH!

So The BusyFamily packs up and heads out...
South on 95 on a SUNNY, HOT Friday in July...
(read:the surface of the sun would have been more comfortable!)

Through that wonderous land called NORTHERN VIRGINIA and into the land of Smoked Hams and Giant Sombreros and beaches begging for sand castles and children to appear.

Yes, we sat on 95S, with no air conditioning, with all windows open, wet hand towels across our laps, necks and foreheads as we crawled along at negative miles an hour, through Virginia, North amd South Carolina!

Somewhere along the way... I think it was about 10 minutes after we started LOADING THE VAN!

HeMan Hubby turned on the A/C.

What are you doing? I asked

Getting the A/C going so it will be cooled down when the kids get in. HeMan Hubby replied.

Why? The A/C doesn't work. It's broken. You said the part is on back order for the recall so IT'S NOT FIXED YET! I answered oh so very calmly.

Oh, you mean it doesn't get cold at all? He asked incredulously.

Ummm, No. That's what I meant when I said the Air Conditioning doesn't work!

And thus began The BusyFamily Vacation of 2010...