THE DOG... an Update

There have been inquiries about THE DOG's health.

I posted about THE DOG's disinclination to walk, to go up or down steps, to using his hind legs for anything really, just before I came down with the incredibly awful flu from hell.

For those who have been concerned about THE DOG...

Don't be.
He is fine.

He can walk.
He can run.
He can run up and down the steps.

When he wants to.

He is still urinating on the floor.
He is still rooting through the trash can at night.
He is still laying around looking sad and dejected while the kids are at school.

Because he can.

So, not to worry.
THE DOG is fine.

I, on the other hand, am trying very hard not to kill THE DOG for ruining my carpet,
and the cherry hardwood floor.

Please pray for me, I need patience...
or for THE DOG, he needs me to have patience

I am sure, either way, THE DOG will be eternally grateful.

RUN!!! Do NoT Walk.... really you should listen to me

Holy Spumoni!

No, I did not forget about you all...

And, NO, I did not die, although it feels an awful lot like maybe I did and someone forgot to tell me.

I have been down with the FLU since Monday January 18th.

That is 2 weeks tomorrow and today, Sunday January 30th is the first day that I have not had to take a nap in the afternoon or early evening ...

Not because I wanted to, but because just showering and walking and breathing was exhausting.

As a result I have been off work for 2 weeks.
2 weeks of no paycheck from my nursing job.
2 weeks of no freelance writing job pay either.

You would think that writing, from the comfort of my sofa,
whenever I want,
or have the peace and quiet would mean that I could work even while dying from the FLU.

But NO!
Indeed when you have the FLU you cannot think, you cannot see and you cannot even breathe without excruciating pain in every joint, in every inch, of your body.

Even the hair on your head hurts AND it hurts your head because it suddenly feels like it's made of cement,
or at least as heavy as cement.

Actually, your pillow feels like it's cement too....

So, today I can think, sort of.
I can breathe without coughing, much.
And I have been awake since 10:30am...
Okay, I did get 7.5 hours of sleep last night which is the record since I have gotten the FLU.


To all of you I can only say...


Avoid the FLU  at all costs.


RUN Do Not Walk to the nearest ZICAM packet if you come into contact with, or start to feel like you have a cold because...

IT's NOT a COLD... it will sucker you into thinking you are just a little sick and then BAM!!!

You will be on you sofa for 2 weeks... and you will feel so bad you won't even care that there is nothing on TV during the day...

BELIEVE ME...
I know and I am trying to turn my horrible learning experience into something that will help
YOU...

so Please... listen and learn and HEED MY WARNING!

Well, I am off to watch the ProBowl and drink some more water...

The secret to over coming this crazy FLU?
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!

At least that's what I think it is, but really?

Don't ask me, I just spent 2 weeks on the sofa hacking up a lung and sucking on an inhaler and Ricola...

Remember?

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide...

Or God...
Either way it's the same thing...
Except that one looks like a Cricket.
        

           When you meet temptation and the urge is strong...

Oprah and Me

Back 2 Blogging Challenge Day 2Post: Veteran's Day Lesson and Thank You

Thelma & Louise Ride, er, rinse Again!
Thanks to these wonderful sponsors of SITS these bad girls of household chores could be yours!
Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances



Oprah's final season as Talk Show Queen has begun.

My novel, the one SHE inspired me to finally start writing, the one I dreamt of sending to her, imagined she would love and invite me to come talk about it ON HER SHOW!
Yeah, it's not done yet so... guess I won't be sending it to her. She won't love it. She will not be asking me on her show to talk about it.

Since that isn't happening I imagined the interview myself...

Oprah: So you saw a show I did about taking charge of your life?

Me: Well, yeah. I couldn't help it. They're all about that, aren't they?

Oprah: You were so inspired by my life success that you decided to write about yours?

Me: Actually, yes. And no. I had similar experiences in my life. But I didn't get rich and famous. I got kids and a husband... or 3. I'm pretty sure you got the better end of the deal, most of the time. I kept meaning to write a book, and finally I decided to be like you and just get it done.

Oprah: Is everything in your story true? Is it all based on your life?

Me: Is it true? Yes. It absolutely is. But then it's the history of the world according to ME. The way I remember it. Some people don't remember it exactly the same way I do. That's why I wrote it. Because I know what happened, I just can't figure out the how and the why.

Oprah: Have you figured that out yet?

Me: No. But at least it's not important to know that any more.

Oprah: Then what is important?

Me: Getting the story out there so that others can learn from my mistakes. Or at least I hope they do... or else what good were they?

Oprah: Can you sum up what the story is about... why you think it may help others?

Me: It's the story of a girl who falls in love, an abusive relationship, becomes a teen mom and just keeps doing what needs to be done to take care of her family. Teens are having kids all the time now. Back then, not so much. I see the kids being raised by grandparents. See girls dropping out of school. Living on welfare. There is a better way. It can be done. I did it. I survived. That's what I want to get across. Take pride in yourself and your family. Work hard. Go to school. Make goals for yourself then make them happen.

Oprah: Is that what you did?

Me: Ummm... yeah. Did you even read the book?

Oprah: Once again, thanks to our guest and look for her book under your chairs!

Oh well. No interview with Oprah. No trip to Australia. No sitting in her studio audience.

Maybe my cable will have that Oprah Winfrey Network... kind of like watching Oprah, only different.

Anticipation Exhilaration Excitement... Just another Monday for me!

I sit.
I wait.
My stomach heaves.
My nails are ragged, getting shorted by the minute.
My nerves on edge.

The anticipation builds.

Will he come?
Will he be what I want, no, NEED him to be?
Will he be as happy to see me as I will be to see him?

What if he doesn't come?
What if I've waited in vain?
What if...

My internet is never fixed?
The cable connection is lost forever?
I miss ALL the High Def football highlights all season?

I sit.
I wait.
My stomach heaves...

What If?

Can you hold please...

There should be a law against this.

But then, there probably is.

What?

Poor customer service, that's what.

I am sure that, in some obscure legal tome, in some little (or possibly not so little) town, somewhere in the good ole US of A, there IS something that makes poor customer service illegal.

Some old forgotten law to be sure, but probably still enforce-able. (I'm pretty sure that's a word, but if not... you know what I mean, right?)

I mean these are still on the books...

In Alabama it is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
( because some of the biblical subject matter doesn't cause a chuckle or 2 on it's
own?)

In Los Angeles it's illegal to cry on a witness stand in any state court.
(And it ruins your makeup)

In Texas a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
(Well, yeah I want to know whose in charge of making sure this gets done!)

In New York the penalty for jumping off a building is death. (ya think?)

What we really need is something like:

Anyone participating in, encouraging, or allowing poor customer service to include but not be limited to:

-Hold times in excess of 2 minutes

-Customer service agents named Bob or Bill or Sue with no working knowledge of the
English language

-Being told that your complaint has been Escalated to the next tier (it's not a
frickin' cake people!

-Having to push numbers for 10 minutes to talk to a person, only to be put on hold and have the call disconnected as soon as you hear their voice

-Any representative, of any company, who makes promises to any customer knowing that said promise will never happen...

Shall be subject to a fine of $5000.00 and must pass an accredited Customer Service School;all legal fees and compensation for undue stress and missed time from work will be paid by the Employer of the Poor Customer Service Agent ( aka PCSA which is much nice than some of the things that were running through my mind earlier on the phone with "the cable guy")

Just think how wonderful the world would be IF only some of these pesky customer service problems were resolved.

I know, some one, some where, would still find some thing to complain about...

Resolutions Revisited

It's been a while since I made my New Year's NOT Resolutions.

Umm, like 8 1/2 months?

And it's been nearly that long since I have thought about them. Well, I think about them often, I just don't look into myself to see if I am actually achieving any of these non-resolution goals.

Today I think it is time I did.

1) I wanted to get healthy, regardless of weight-loss or non-weight-loss, I wanted to eat better and exercise.

Well- I am dong both. Yay Me! I walk several miles several days a week. I have been swimming in my backyard pool- need to do more of that before it's too cold! And I have been eating better. More fruits and veggies, less Ben &Jerry's and chips.

2) I wanted to be a better mom.
Okay- so that is not going as planned. My children have not suddenly started to WANT to be around me, but then they don't run screaming from the room as soon as I enter either so... that's a good thing, right?

3) I wanted to feel better about myself and where I (and my family) am headed- financially, emotionally, and physically.
To that end we are working on home improvements that we are hopeful will help us to get our house sold sooner- rather than later- once we put it back on the market... after football and soccer season is over, of course. ( part of the being a good mom thing there... kids need to finish the season with their friends... it may be their last in Maryland! )

4) and not really the final, but for today it is... I wanted a better relationship with HeMan Hubby.
I think we are doing better than we have in a very long time. He still works entirely too much. And I still spend entirely too many hours doing things with/for/because of the kids and helping friends in need...but the time we spend together has been full of playful banter, warmth and happiness. He even spent an entire week on vacation with the kids and I and DID NOT work... I think we are connecting more than when the kids were little... maybe because they aren't little anymore?

Whatever the reason, or the facilitators, life is good in our home. And our relationship is solid, and a true partnership.

I hope that our children see this and seek to find something similar in their own relationships as they grow.

Then my ultimate goal will have been reached...

to raise productive members of society... who live anywhere but with me!

I get so tired of the blaming and finger-pointing, don't you... From the Politcians I mean, not my kids.

"Free at last, Free at last! Thank God Almighty, We Are Free At Last!"

These words were spoken by Martin Luther King, Jr, a very long time ago.
Or not so very long ago, depending on who you are, where you've been and where you're going.

MLK said these words August 1963. These words were the finale of his "I Have A Dream" speech, given on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

I was not yet born.
That's how long ago it was.

My children, and those of their generation, were not born.
That's how long ago it was.

My Mother and Father lived in the DC area in 1963.
My Father was caught in the Civil Rights riots of 1964 in DC, luckily making it home, without injury.
That's how long ago it wasn't.

Only a generation ago this Man, this Martin Luther King Jr, this Dreamer, this Righter of Wrongs...

Only a generation removed from this time and place ago, the world dreamed with this man, of a better place, of a better life, of a better time...

And in only a single generation, that Dream has gone dormant, the carrying out of it has gone terribly wrong...

Gangs and those who feel 'entititled' because of their race, color or creed, have made living a better life harder for everyone...

To live the Dream, to make the World a Better Place, to be the People that MLK saw we could become...

I guess some of us are going to have to try harder...
And some of us need to start trying.

Watching the Detective.... Morse that Is!

Windows. Mac. Linux.

These are the operating systems that make our computers run.
When we buy a computer it has one of these on it along with the programs to let us do things like get on the internet, check email, watch dvd's and listen to music, right?

WRONG!

I have a Media Player on my system so I thought when I put a dvd in and turned on the media player, it would play my dvd.

No such luck. Apparently the program does not come with the software "decoder" required to read the dvd's.

After hours of searching for dvd decoders online, and researching the best or most compatible one for my system, I FINALLY got one downloaded and running!

I'm not sure exactly where I found it, or even how at this point, but suffice it to say, I won't be looking for, or downloading any programs in the near future!

I thought the premise behind computers is that they make life easier, save time?

Apparently, no one told my computer!

Is it really worth the hassle just to watch a BBC mystery?

It is if it's Inspector Morse!

Now I understand why the world is coming to an end... seriously, you will too!

I started to type something into Google... you know, I had a question that I wanted an answer to, or at least an idea of where to find that answer, right?

Well, I typed 'Where' and Holy Crap! this is what pops up automatically to finish the sentence:

where the wild things are ( last time I looked they were upstairs in their room)
wheresgeorge.com ( ummm, george who?)
where's my refund ( I second that emotion... Where Is My Refund!... oh yeah, I didn't file yet- never mind)
where is Chuck Norris (What? This is a frequent question?)
where is Haiti (no idea where it is but they could spell it?)
Where is waldo ( I have no idea but I am sure he's not in Haiti!)
where is Santa right now (he's in Florida with all the other old, retired people, Duh!)
where is Tiger Woods ( ok, the real question is whom is he with now isn't it?)
where does Justin Beiber live ( with all the other beibers in the pond?- who the hell is Justin Beiber anyway?)
where is the love lyrics (who cares?)

And here you have the top 10 most frequently asked questions that begin with the word 'WHERE'...

God, what a very sad commentary on life this is...
The people asking these questions will someday rule the world...
Great, just great.

Where Have All the ... Good Ones? Gone

Does the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee have a name?

Where did Tony the Tiger get his name? And where did he go?
I haven't seen any "They're GRRRRREAT!" commercials in a while.

Then there's the Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs guy,er, bird.
A bird wearing striped pajamas? Or is he a Jail Bird and those are his prison clothes?

Fruity Pebbles I get. Fred Flinstone is there with Barney because they work in a rock quarry and Fred named his kid Pebbles. Okay, fair enough, Barney did name his kid Bam-Bam. They're both idiots. But I get the connection to the cereal.

I guess the problem is that these characters are no longer common figures in Pop Culture ( I just love using that term, it makes me sound like I might be smart!).
Like Scooby-Doo and Josie and the Pussycats and Land of the Lost (the real one not the awful movie version) and just about every other Saturday Morning TV show character from our childhoods, cereal box characters are becoming extinct.

Or they just don't make any sense.

And there is the problem as I see it...

The world doesn't make sense anymore and it's getting worse...

Time to pay a visit to Lucky and Toucan Sam... before they go extinct too!

Sometimes I think about stuff that has no meaning at all but it still keeps me awake when I am supposed to be sleeping...

According to Girl-Child 25, there is a new reality show where some guys got together and made a Bucket List of things they want to do before they die.

This got me thinking, a 'tres dangerous' task most undoubtedly, about places I would like to visit before I die. Which of course had me making a list of the places NOT to visit so I could narrow down the TO VISIT places.

And this is what was in my head:

Places NOT to visit before I die-

1- Naples- the one in Italy, not Florida, because scientists have just discovered evidence that
4000 years ago it was under 4 feet of molten lava from Mt Vesuvius, and 2000 years ago
Pompeii disappeared and with the schedule being what it is it will choose the
day I am there to erupt...

2- Hawaii- especially the island with the volcano on it... I think that maybe volcanoes may have
something against me so I will be avoiding them...

3- Ditto for anywhere near Mt St Helen... but there really isn't anything out there to see anyway
so not a problem to Not visit there...

4- California - the Bay Area- no never mind- the whole state- if the mud slides or forest fires
don't get me then for sure the day I visit the BIG ONE will hit (earthquake that is) and the
whole frickin' state will break off and fall into the ocean and sink,just like Atlantis!





So that leaves me with Places I Want to Visit before I die:

1- Florida- but not the Everglades part where the alligators and Sasquatch / swamp ape thingys
live, or where they have hurricanes wiping everything off the face of the planet... the other
parts, like where Mickey and Minnie live

2- New Orleans- been there once but would like to go with my husband... but only during the Off
Hurricane season and only AFTER I lost about 60 pounds... that way if I WANT to show my stuff
to get some beads, MAYBE someone will be interested in looking at it... besides my husband,
who kind of has to no matter what since he is married to me

3- Wine Country of California- Ooops- nope! Forgot that state is off limits since it might
breakoff and sink into the ocean and I don't think I can tread water long enough to get help

4- Australia- Yep I want to go to Queensland- where ever that is- to see the Crocodile Hunter's
zoo- well Australia Zoo ... but no outback camping where Dingos or Crocs will get me...

5- Scotland/Ireland- I definitely want to see the places were my ancestors once lived- the ones
from the British Isles- not the ones from Germany and Poland... I don't trust those
governments enough to go there ... but Ireland and Scotland seem safe and they have all those
old castles and manor houses and giant sweeping green landscapes...

That's my list.. but wait, scratch #4 and #5 in the To Visit list because you can only get there by flying- well sure you can float there but really, I did say I can't tread water that long... and flying is not something I do well... 2 1/2 hours is about my limit then I better be able to leave the plane and walk on solid ground or the flight attendant person will be peeling me off the ceiling... if God wanted me to fly I would have been born one of the X-Men Mutants and live with Wolverine and Storm in that cool old castle somewhere in New York State... since I don't...

Guess that leaves me with a visit to Florida and Louisiana... That I can manage before I die. Several times most likely since I have family in Louisiana, and some kind of near Florida...
Whew! Load off my mind... now that my list is made I can spend more time enjoying and living life while I still can!