BratChild turned 13 last week.
For her birthday she received cold, hard cash.
And with that cash she wanted, no
NEEDED, to go shopping for shorts and jeans.
So, to that end I took
BratChild and her friend, KK, to
THE MALL yesterday.
We spent hours walking leisurely along the aisles, dodging the vendors with stands in the middle...
The dental floss eye brow plucking lady... did you
KNOW they actually hold the tension by
PUTTING IT IN THEIR TEETH when they groom your brow line?
I find the sanitary-ness highly suspect... do NOT want used dental floss on my eyebrows!
The miracle hand & nail cream, buffer, cuticle remover from the
DEAD SEA... no thank you... I already have it.
And
YES I LOVE IT... but please
DO NOT follow me around with the bottle of lotion after I say
NO!
The sterling jewelry lady whose own rings have turned her fingers green... ummm, yeah. Nah!
Really, tooth whitening in a chair in the middle of
THE MALL? Rinse and spit out in public? Have strangers watching them scrape then use the black light in your mouth so you now look like you have been irradiated and will die from radiation poisoning?
Not likely!
Photography studio... in the middle of
THE MALL? Why yes, there is. Complete with costumes to change into, behind the curtain from
'The Wizard of OZ'. The one that didn't hide the Wizard either.
Thanks but I'll flash my flesh in private, thank you very much!
So- after much traversing the convoluted halls of
THE MALL to avoid these charlatans, we found ourselves in PacSun with
BratChild trying on shorts. Well, yes they were shorts, but really should be called
TooShorts since that is what they are.
Is a 5-inch inseam too much to ask for, really?
I didn't think so, but after 4 hours of trying to find shorts that would not require a 13 year old to have a Brazilian Wax we left with nary a pair of shorts in the bags
BratChild was laden down with.
She did get a bathing suit- yes it is a 2 piece, but it covers more than most and she wears t-shirts over them anyway (thank God since HeMan Hubby swears she is only 9 and would have a heart attack if he saw her looking like a young lady!).
She also stopped in Zumiez and bought some
GLAMOUR KILLS "I heart boobies" bracelets. One for me, one for KK and a couple for herself.
In Hot Topic she found a selection of
TWLOHA shirts to rival the sites online. She got herself one, the one she wanted but I couldn't find BEFORE her birthday.
She also bought one for KK- the one KK really liked online but could only order in PLUS sizes at the website. Not so great for a size 5 girl...
I was not thrilled to spend a Sunday at
THE MALL, but was very happy with the charitable nature of
BratChild by purchasing gifts for her friend, and me, with her money.
Sometimes she makes me
SO PROUD...
and others...
Not so much...
But for now, I will be letting her live to her next birthday...
I did say,
FOR NOW!
