Sunday, June 20, 2021

Searching for the Silver Lining

June 17, 2021

Today would have been our 25th Anniversary.

How ironic that I found myself here, at Hopkins, walking through the sky bridge from the parking garage and into the building, where we spent so much of our time in that last year together, on this day of all days, for the first time since you've been gone.

I tried not cry, but when I realized I had parked in nearly the same exact  place we would park to make it easier for you to walk across the bridge with your broken hip- because you refused to use a wheelchair no matter how much pain you had- I cried behind my sunglasses and mask crossing the bridge and navigating the halls we used to walk to your treatments and testing. 

The memories came flooding back.

Of the pain and the feeling of devastation when we got the final report...

But also of the love and laughter, the joys and adventures, the memories of all the days before you were sick and the days between the bad days...

Of the day we went to Annapolis and said I Do in the courthouse, of you down on your knee to propose with a real diamond ring and band on our 17th anniversary- it is the only time you were ever able to surprise me! 

And as I cried you laughed and gathered me close and said ' don't cry, be happy, we have the rest of our lives together' then you kissed my forehead and held me close.

Today I have so many emotions, memories, dreams left behind and dreams yet to be dreamt...

And in all of that, the one constant, is the love I feel from you that I carry forward with me, in my heart.

Happy 25th Anniversary 

John LeeRoye Bassford 

I would do it all again, even if it ended the same way, because Love like ours is rare and a thing to be cherished. Always.

Miss you and love you, my JohnnyAngel

No comments: