Tragedy...When the feelings gone and you can't go on...

title song and lyrics by The BeeGees

Mama Kat's Weekly Writing assignment:

describe a tragedy you didn't expect to be as deeply affect by as you are



First one must identify with what one would consider a TRAGEDY.

Strictly speaking the definition is: an event resulting in great loss and misfortune.

However, another type of TRAGEDY is: a drama or literary work in which the main character is brought to ruin or suffers extreme sorrow

Personal tragedies aside, because they are PERSONAL...

Lyrical or literary tragedies seem to get to me more than the actual physical, IRL (in real life) kind.

I think it is because of my job. I work with special needs children. Many of whom are very ill, and/or have very short life expectancies.

Before that, I worked in LTC (long term care-read Nursing Homes). My patients were the Alzheimer's and the ones with serious health issues like dialysis, coma or near-coma patients requiring hawk-like attention to detail to maintain their health and a quality of life worth having.

I believe that living with the daily occurrences of death and near-death experiences I have grown immune, for lack of a better word, to the personal tragedies one hears of on the news or reads about in the Newspaper - online of course as the newspaper stopped being printed last year!

Speaking of a tragedy!

Perhaps the tragic end of Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter, is as emotional as I have gotten over anything in a long time.
Well, the oil spill in the Gulf was a close second...

I started watching The Crocodile Hunter on Animal Planet after the birth of TeenBoy. I would sit in bed with him and watch Steve and his new bride, Terry, head off into the wilds of Australia.

A place I have always been in awe of, and wanted to see for myself.

TeenBoy and I would snuggle together and watch Ole Steve-O 'til one of us, usually ME, fell asleep.
When TeenBoy was 17 months old BratChild was born and into the routine she came.
Then came SIX, and about the same time, Bindy Sue... the Mini-me of the Crocodile Hunter.

My oldest children enjoyed the show, but the younger ones?
They were raised with Steve and Terry. They loved watching him explore jungles and oceans and deserts. They learned more about the animals and reptiles a world away from that entertaining and intelligent man and his equally wonderful wife than any one can imagine!

With SIX being about the same age as The Crocodile Hunter's first child, and Steve and Terry being similar in age to myself and HeMan Hubby... an emotional connection was forged- on my end entirely, but real none the less.

I liken it to the way people watch Soap Operas and BELIEVE the characters are REAL people living their lives on TV...
only I knew these people were really real and were really living at least part of their lives on TV. The other part of their lives was their own, but I felt like I understood some of what that part, the part not shown on TV, was like.

They ran an animal zoo and rescued wildlife all over the world ... I had an aviary full of parrot species and was raising 6 children working full time nights with special needs kids... not too dissimilar, right?
Okay, not the same at all but... I understood being busy and over-extended and exhausted daily.

So, his death took me by surprise. Okay, that's putting it mildly.
It floored me. I thought of his wife and daughter, left to carry on his DREAM. Of his new son, who would never have any real memories or knowledge of the man who was bigger than life to so many creatures great and small.

I was so affected that I wrote an email to the family expressing my sorrow for their loss. And let them know how much the world would miss him.
I doubt The Crocodile Hunter Family read the email... but if perhaps someone did, I hoped that it would bring some measure of comfort, as it did for me to write it.

Kind of the way writing the blog gives me comfort, and sometimes even, little snippets of solitude to cultivate my sanity when it's dangerously close to being all used up.

Tragedy is... the death of a man who saw more than what was in front of his eyes... and had the courage to dream a dream AND make it come true... dying from a silly thing like a freakish stab to the chest from the tail of a stingray.

Back 2 Blogging Challenge...Day 3

Today's challenge - Sponsored by :our friends at Standards of Excellence,Westar Kitchen and Bath , and Florida Builder Appliances, two very special SITStahs

is to re-post an entry with a title I a proud of... and then tell you why.

Well here it is...

Feng-Shui Me!

Ok- so that’s not exactly how it works, but man wouldn’t that be great?

What is Feng (Fung) Shui ( Shway) anyway?

According to one definition found on the web it is " the ancient Chinese philosophy and practice of creating harmonious environments."

With a definition like that you would think the first rule would be to throw out all the kids and then the husband and family dog!

But No... one of the major things in the article stated that you should place your desk so that your chair faces the door to allow the Ch’i to flow...

Oh and for those who are not Chineseology literate... Ch’i ( cheeeee) is basically your life force. And I know you all want a positive Ch’i so turn your desks around... the boss won’t mind!

Another principle of Feng-Shui that I read in a book... yep there’s a whole section just on how to decorate your house in Feng-Shui fashion at the public library ( you did not think I paid for a book with words I can barely pronounce did you?)...
is that you should never place the head of your bed against the wall with the toilet on the other side...
Makes for VERY BAD CH’I .

And rightfully so I say. I never get a good night’s sleep listening to the toilet run on all night and the water dripping from the faucet. Although the book also said that water features in the home helped to create a calm and relaxed atmosphere that lended itself to the Positive Flow of the Ch’i so maybe I just did not appreciate that role of the dripping water faucet...

Nope, on second thought I appreciated it...
I appreciated that hubby needs to check the darn washer and make it stop dripping!!!

By far my favorite Feng-Shui principle is ELIMINATE CLUTTER... so that means that I can get rid of the kids and hubby and the family dog? Oh, no, that means that I have to throw away the junk mail and clean out that bottom drawer in the fridge and sort thru the shoe boxes full of old photos and actually DO something with them?

Yeah, I’ll get right on that as soon as I turn my desk around, move the furniture in my bedroom to the other wall and install a water-wall in my living room for effect...
But then again getting rid of the kids, hubby and the family dog would be easier?
I know, I’ll send the kids to school, hubby to work and let the dog out with a nice bouncy ball he can chase for a few hours...

Voila’- Instant Feng-Shui- the creation of a harmonious environment without all the work.... and those Ancient Chinese thought they had all the answers... I guess this modern American Woman is capable of finding a few of her own!

Blame it on a man?... I think I will!

Some one spent 2 hours driving up and down the same road looking for the shoe store Saturday.

Did they call for directions?

Was it a guy?

NO. They didn't.

And, amazingly, it wasn't!

Go figure.

It seems as if the insidious affliction of men is now affecting women.

Is there no cure for this, the worst of all man-isms?

Please, God, let there be a cure for NOT STOPPING FOR DIRECTIONS! And let it be found soon!

Amen.

compass photo courtesy of http://www.memphis.edu

Who are you... WHO ARE YOU?

Don't you hate how people ask what you do, not who you are?

I mean, like what you do defines who you are as a person and how others perceive you to be?

No, it doesn't, or rather, it shouldn't.
But we all know that we are judged constantly every single day by those we encounter along the way.

What do I do?
I mother.
I chauffer.
I cook.
I clean.
I worry.

These are indeed the things I DO, but they are not Who I AM.

I am a nurse. A mother. A daughter. A sister. A friend.

But more importantly, I am a caring, thoughtful and intelligent Woman.

When I tell people what I do for my 'real' job, many are taken aback.
"How can you work with sick kids?"
"Isn't it too hard?"
"Why would you want to do that?"
These are the typical responses I get. And I get where they are coming from. Taking care of a sick child often means helping them and their families keep them alive. Or, in some cases, preparing the families for their child's death.

I almost never have to prepare a child for this.
They already know. They nearly always are way ahead of the curve and get what's going on long before the parents or the docs.

I work with sick kids for a purely selfish reason.

Instant gratification.

When a child feels bad and you help them feel better?
A smile, a hug, a change in their overall awareness comes from them automatically, letting you know that they are glad you were there. Letting you into their piece of reality giving you a chance to feel the sincerity of their joy of life, for how ever long that life may be.

I have worked with kids who had almost no life expectancy who are still alive and doing well in their teens.
I have worked with kids whose docs said they would never be able to communicate, to play, to have a 'normal' life.
They do all those things... what is 'normal' anyway?

In my field I see the affects of years of science and medicine converging in one small body, giving that little person a chance at life. A REAL life, with family and friends. With school and play groups. A chance to let the Light that is inside of them not only shine, but spread to everyone around them.

Sure, it's sad when they are gone. But that Light, that joy of living that they spread while they were here?
It never goes away. It continues to Light up the lives of those left behind, and in so doing, keeps them alive.

My job is hard. That's why it's called work. Not physically, but emotionally.
But the pluses far out-weigh the minuses. And for me...?

It's the perfect job.
It's not just what I do, it's an extension of Who I AM.

Next time someone asks you what you do...

Tell them you live and breathe and eat and sleep... that's what you do, but who you are?

That's the REAL question.

Fait Accomplis.... It is Done!

Finally! the cable and internet are alive and well at the BusyFamily house.

I was told The Cable Guy would be out first thing yesterday.
What does one do while waiting for The Cable Guy to arrive?

Drink a cup of joe and read on the back porch.
Vacuum the floors.
Wash the dishes.
Clean the kitchen.
Read a book.
Scrub the floors.
Clean the pool.
Do water aerobics.
Eat breakfast.
Take a shower.

Now it's 12 noon... no longer bright and early in my book so...

Call The Cable Guy company to find out where he is...

then wait some more, watch some DVR'd shows, take a nap and VOILA'...

I shoulda taken a nap first, maybe he woulda showed earlier!

And I gave up a day of crabbing for this?


NOW the fun begins.

Tweens running in the door from school will fight over whose turn it is to decimate evil demons online.

The Adult-like kids will spend countless hours submitting resumes and combing the job listings on Monster and CareerBuilder... maybe today they will find a 'Real' job.

And me, BusyMom, will have to find the time to check out the bank accounts, pay some bills, then do some grocery shopping.

The dog needs food.
The kids need lunch meat.
HeMan Hubby is out of Pepsi and snacks.
Someone said we need T.P.... they're probably right.

Five days without cable and internet.

The quietest and most relaxed 5 days this month...

Nothing like a break from technology to help you appreciate the little things in life...

like online banking and streaming video!

Social Networking - a necessary evil... Evil? I Don't Think So!

Social Networking.

Is it a person, place or thing?
Perhaps it's an action?

A noun or a verb, that is the question.

Does one engage in Social Networking, or is one simply a member of a Social Network?
And if you belong to a Social Network, what is the price of joining?

For me, it is both a noun, and a verb.
It is a Thing, and an Action.

Social Networking is more than just connecting with business associates in hopes of procuring your dream job; more than connecting to other people with similar interests, lifestyles, careers and hobbies.

Social Networking is very much an attempt to validate one's self by finding, and communing with, people who are very much like themselves.

What is the price to be paid for being a member of a Social Network?
A kidney, your first-born child, tips on the Next Big Thing?

Nope- the only price is one that most of us willingly, and oft times, enthusiastically, give.

Our own input, sage advice, and past experience in the guise of witty, acerbic and very nearly always, heart-felt comments.

Comments are freely given on blogs, internet community forums, chat rooms. Facebook, Twitter and message boards on Google, Yahoo and AOL are always filled with advice and commentary on any, and all, subject matter.

For me, Social Networking has taken the form of blogging, and the forums that I have found through blogging.

The Secret to Success is Support
BlogFrog
BlogFlow
Mama's Little Nestwork
Google Reader
Circle of Moms
Cafe Mom


These are the places and the people that I look to for enjoyment and relaxation, and yes, even validation of my own life and ideals.

( I actually think The Bloggess and I are twins separated at birth she thinks so much like me!)

I read blogs and forum discussions on sublects that interest me.

Anything from being a mom (how to be a good mom?) to making jewelry and crafts to dealing with the stress of running a home to figuring out what my purpose in life really is (again the being a good mom thing... I think I have an obsession about this topic).

I have made connections with people- and no they are not all women, nor are all the women moms- all over the globe.

I enjoy the differing perspectives and resulting input.

I take comfort in knowing Social Networking is not just an action, it is a Thing.

And that Thing has made my life a little bit richer and, dare I say, productive.

(Just don't tell HeMan Hubby... he thinks it's just a little hobby to take up some of my spare time... did I say spare time? I meant time that I should be spending on housework or writing the Great American Novel or something, right!)

How Southern Are you?

How Southern are you?

Do you call your elders Mrs. Smith or Ms. Betty?
Do you drink Sweet Tea or Iced Tea or Long Island Iced Tea?
Do you say Hey!, Hi! or Hello?
Do you shake, smile or hug in greeting?

Actually, any of the above would be considered Southern... just depends on how Southernly you wanted to be...

Except for the Mrs. Smith part. No one in the south is called Mrs. Anything. Unless it's your school teacher. Then it's Missus Whatever... and the nasty old lady at the end of the block... the one with hundreds of cats...

A sure fire way to tell how Southern you are is your hobbies.

Southern Women volunteer and do charity work. They work in the church nursery and the local soup kitchen. They organize fundraisers for the school and help sell Girl Scout cookies... even if they don't have a Girl Scout in the family.

But the number one tell-tale sign that you really are Southern???

All Southern women wear ugly hats and grow things in the dirt...

At least that's what they said in Steel Magnolias

The Voices in my head keep telling me what to do... But WAIT! That's the TV!

'Buy Now and SAVE! '
'Get younger looking skin NOW! '
'Cover your Gray NOW!'

Do you ever get the feeling people are telling you what to do?

I sure do, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

If I don't buy anything, you know what? I'll save even more.

And my skin is very young looking, because, well, I'm not old. If I look any younger my kids will be older than me!

Gray? Moi? Yeah, caught gray-haired with Miss Clairol on my hands.
Yes, I color my gray- only because it's not gray, it's wiry, white and thicker than all the other hairs on my head. Don't want to look OLDER than I am, right?

Who died and made the commercial people the boss of the world anyway?
Oh, the moral compass broke and made them the boss.

Are commercials more bossy and aggressive now?
Or do I just notice it more?

Nope, they are pushier and bossier and more condescending than they used to be.
And they dummy down to sell products. Like the world population is too stupid to understand big words, literary references, classic quotes and music.

Now the question is ...

Are the average consumers less intelligent, more illiterate (and alliterate) than the ones before because of the lack of drive and motivation to excel, or because they are dummying down commercials, TV programs and music; telling people what to do and when and how to do it?

Using poor grammar, slang and bad taste all the while.

Commercialism at it's finest?
Some would say so.

Me, anyone telling me what to do is automatically suspect.

I am not a robot and I CAN think for myself...

Doesn't mean I won't actually go out and buy what ther're hawking on TV...
It just means I'm going to think about it and then buy it when I'm ready, and not before...

Unless the sale is about to end, then I might have to run out and buy quick, like the commercials want us to...

because a penny saved is a penny saved and you never know when you might need an real-live, actual penny, do you?

We interrupt this broadcast...

Today's blog entry has been pre-empted to bring you this heartfelt and soul-wrenching post about what a HERO is...

For those who are used to my sometimes witty, and often satirical, view of the world, and myself, please indulge me.

HERO is such a small word, but it's meaning is greater than any can imagine, unless they have had the privilege to know a TRUE HERO.

I have been lucky enough to know TWO.

As I write this, a funeral is taking place, in a church, outside a small town in Maryland.

I can not be there in person, but am there in my heart, and know that the church is now over flowing with people showing their respect, and yes thanks, for the sacrifice made by a young man of 21, barely old enough to bUy a beer, but plenty old enough to shoulder the responsibility of leading a unit, of caring for his men, and willing to make the supreme sacrifice in their stead.


Marine Cpl. Kurt Shea is being laid to rest today. His family will say their last good-byes, his friends will say "See you later", knowing that when their times come, they will. He will be there waiting with a ready smile, his head tilted slightly, and a smart remark to make them feel at home.

How he died is not the reason he is a Hero, but the result.
His ideals, his convictions, and his allegiance to living a life true to them is what makes him a Hero.

Love of God, Love of Country, Love of Family... these are the truths he lived everyday.

As I was standing, waiting for the Memorial Service his DeMolay brothers were about to begin, I learned some distressing, but not surprising, information.

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church were planning to demonstrate outside his funeral service today. This gave me pause. How can God-loving, self-described Christians, so negate the life of a man of honor and dignity?

Anger and sorrow filled me with contempt for these people.
Until I looked at the slide show of Kurt, detailing his short, but love filled life.

And I realized what he knew all along; saw him for the TRUE HERO he IS.

He fully understood, and took on the responsibility, of being one of THE ONES who make those people able to do what they do, say what they say.

And if not for the very ones they cry out against...

Where would they be?

This is for Kurt and his DeMolay Brother, Marine Sgt.Charles Cartwright, TWO HEROs I will remember and THANK GOD for...

Always.

Saturday Sharefest.... of a different sort

Saturday's on The Secret is in the Sauce are Sharefest Saturdays.

When you post a comment on the site you add a link to a favorite post from your own blog for other SITS members to read.

Today I am doing a Sharefest, but it is not of my favorite posts, but rather some of my favorite things I have found online.

The Secret is in the Sauce- blogging info, tips and support from other bloggers like me!

Fancast- TV shows available anytime I want... great for the busy mom on the go!

Cafemom- a site for moms by moms with a little something for everyone!

Ijango- a free web portal with everything you can imagine- email, shopping, news... and a pay check for you just for using it!

facebook- social networking... HELLO!

AND BLOGS....
The Bloggess
BlogFrog- blogging community
Amy's Assorted Adventures
CraftGossip Crochet
Crafty Minx

These are just a few of the my favorite things found on the World Wide Web...
Why not take a minute and share some of yours?

The Right thing.... It's THE THING to do

Monday is always a busy day.
A hectic day.
A day I would rather do without.

This week Monday was even worse than usual.
More hectic, more rushed, more filled with 'stuff' because of the things that had been put off from the weekend.
But those I did not mind. Those I knew about in advance and could plan for.

The email notice that made the day awful?
That was unexpected.
Unwanted.

Another young man of my acquaintance died Monday May 10, 2010.
In a far away, hot and sandy place. Protecting people he did not know, because it was the right thing to do.
Because he believed in the rightness of living a life free from oppression and tyranny. In the freedom to worship your God and to teach your children without fear and judgment from others. In the preservation of a country's people and their beliefs and their ability to be more and do more for themselves.

These are the things he died for.
These are the things worth dying for.

Marine Cpl. Kurt Shea - a Senior DeMolay aged 21 died Monday May 10, 2010 in Afghanistan. Far from his home and family, but never far from the thoughts and hearts of those who loved him.

Pictured: Some of his DeMolay brothers

I do not always agree with the politicos and their posturing. Their ideas. Their arguments.

But I always support our troops. Our boys in blue, in green, in camo... who do the right thing because...

It's the RIGHT thing to do.

International Women's Day... Let's Hear it for the Girls!

Last Monday, March 8th, was International Women's Day... Who Knew??

I know this sounds like something auspicious ( totally awesome and grand) but in reality, what does it mean?

To me it means that today is a day to Honor and Applaud Women who have made a difference in the world in which we live.

Women who lived and died before I was born, like the Suffragettes.

Women who defied the conventional ideas to do what they loved, like Amelia Earhart.

Women who loved and nurtured because it was what they had to offer, like Susan B. Anthony and the nurses of the civil war, on the front, tending the wounded and dying without regard to their own safety.

Women who pushed the envelope and thought outside of the box, like Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, The Unsinkable Molly Brown and Coco Chanel.

And most importantly of all, the women who gave life to us, who taught us right from wrong, who encouraged us to live our lives the way we want but to be accountable while doing so, who allowed us to be free-thinkers and pro-lifers and pro-choicers
(I know not a real word but you know what I mean), the mothers and grandmothers and adopted mothers and aunts and sisters and friends who have shaped each of us throughout our lives by loving us and caring for us and letting us live and learn and grow.

To all Women, Everywhere... thank you for what you have given not only this generation of women, but the ones to come as well.

Old Movies are a lot like life, the heros get maimed, mutilated or dead... but you just can't stop watching them!

I know a lot of people had friends in to celebrate the coming of the New Age-2010. Their New Year's Eve was similar to mine, with the exception that our parties actually only include me, He-Man hubby and our children. Since 3 of them, plus their significant others, chose to spend the evening out with their younger, and much hipper friends, there was only Tween-Boy, Tween-Girl and Teen-Boy to ring in the New Year with us. A couple of movies- the animated kind- and some virgin margaritas and a ton of steamed shrimp later... well my 12:05 date with my pillow couldn't come fast enough!


I actually stayed up past my bedtime watching 'Anther Thin Man' on TCM, with Myrna Loy and William Powell. Unfortunately, my evening ended before the next Thin Man movie, "Shadow of the Thin Man' came on at 2am. For those wondering, I absolutely LOVE the Thin Man movies, and just about any other 1930/1940 era black and white. The clothes, the stars, the manners and implied sex, blood and dasterdly doings... That's what ART is about. Giving you enough info to stimulate your imagination to run wild! And believe me, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, James Cagny, Mickey Rooney... they all brought so much CHARACTER to their characters without all the special effects to ruin it.

So my new year begins with me blogging, while watching 'The Stratton Story',
and old Jimmy Stewart movie about baseball player Monty Stratton, while eating a cinnamon bun and drinking coffee. I have heard that what you do on New Year's Day sets the tone for the coming year. Yes, this is how I will be spending this one, pretty much, anyway. I will have to fit the occasional shift at work in, and some house hold chores like laundry and cooking, and probably some time with the kids over homework or at one of their extra-curricular activities... but otherwise this is as good as it gets.

I know some might say I need to aim higher, but I have decided to join the rest of the country and down-size and stream-line my life. So sitting on my sofa, laptop in hand, watching a black and white movie, drinking coffee is what I'll be doing this year.

Figure it will save a ton on gas and spending money since I won't be engaging in RETAIL THERAPY.
And who knows, maybe I will become famous and develop a cult following, like The Bloggess. Or maybe I will finish the book I started and get it published, or maybe I will just gain about a thousand pounds and lose touch with reality. But I will be happy while I do, and that after all, is what REALLY counts, isn't it?

To Everyone Everywhere...a very HAPPY New Year!