Where Have All the Friendships Gone...

Time marches on.

Or so I have been told.

The proof is in the footprints it leaves upon the soul.

Friendships, like Time, march onward too.

They last as long as there is a need and then...

They too...   

Are gone.

Yes, Time marches on...

But it leaves behind Memories that will last a lifetime

Of the Friendships that helped shape us.

That helped make us.

Who we are Today.

Life Got In the Way

Yes. Life did get in the way.

But then, it's the living of life that makes us.
Both the good and the bad things that happen while living our lives.

Sometimes it seems there is a lot more bad than good.
Right now is one of those times.

Yesterday a dear friend died.
I had the pleasure of being able to take care of her, keep her comfortable, and even to give her comfort during her last day with us.

For that I am thankful.

Every person has a purpose.

I believe that my purpose is most often as a caretaker.

And usually I don't mind giving comfort, offering support, being there when others need a shoulder or a body to lean on.

Right now...
there have been too many deaths in my circle of friends for me to bear.

Sheila Kaye Davis         1976-2011

I will persevere.
I will carry on.
I will because there is no other choice but to go on.

And by so doing I will honor my friends who have left me behind...
Cindy and Sheila...

I'm the one that's left... I'll try to make you all proud of me.

And I'll try to get back to blogging regularly and my diet and...

well, Living My Life!

Every cloud has a silver lining... well, not all of them

Can the weather be a reflection of the turmoil in one's life?

I think it can.

A friend died today.

She was a wife, a mother, an individual with a personality all her own...

She had sarcoidosis of the liver.

Just 2 months ago she was told that her liver was not bad enough to be put on the transplant list.

Just 3 months ago we were in New Orleans for the DeMolay Old South competition with our boys.

She spent the past 4 weeks in and out of the hospital with various health issues that were related to her liver problem, but not life threatening once the docs got them under control.

Or so they said.

Apparently not.

So, I sit here watching the sky turn black-yellow-green, the winds whip up a frenzy of flying leaves and limbs- I fully expect to see The Wicked Witch of the West fly by on her broom any second- and the rain fall in horizontal sheets obstructing all view more than a foot from the windows.

And I like the look and the sound of the storm raging outside.

It fits the storm that I feel raging inside.

Yes, the weather can reflect one's feelings.

At least today, for me, the weather did just that.

Honor and Duty... and so much more

Memorial Day.

A day to relax by the pool, put your feet up and enjoy time spent with family and friends.

That's what it has become.
That's not REALLY what it's for... although don't get me wrong, I do as much of that as the next gal!

Memorial Day... Memory Day... A day to Remember the WHOs and WHATs and WHEREs that made us, as a nation, able to spend time pursuing the joys of our family and friends.

Those men who stood up and fought for US-- as in us, the citizens of the United States, and US as in Uncle Sam... those who stormed the beaches of Normandy in June 1944, who fought in the jungles on Viet Nam in the early 60's, and those who fought in the corn fields, valleys and forests of this nation during the American Revolution, the Civil War... and all the periods of civil unrest through out our nation's short, but poignant history.

Saturday ManBoy, BratChild and SIX walked in a local Memorial Day Parade as representatives of Freemasonry, Order of Rainbow for Girls, and DeMolay.

SIX, my 11 1/2 year old youngest son and our 6th child, took turns carrying the DeMolay banner with another young DeMolay over the course of the 1 mile parade route.
At the onset of the parade, well, at the staging area actually, the boys saw several men in full military uniform and wearing baseball caps with their ship or service on them. I explained that they were Veterans of WW II, Korea, Viet Nam, Desert Storm and those currently serving in the military.

During the parade I saw that each boy, when not carrying the banner, would go up to men along the parade route and shake hands with the men in uniform and wearing the hats I had pointed out earlier.

Six and CC were thanking the soldiers for their service with a smile and a firm handshake. One older gentleman wearing a WWII cap burst into tears when SIX asked to shake his hand. Six was taken aback. He thought he had done something wrong, when in reality, he had done exactly the right thing for this lone man sitting in his wheelchair on his front lawn watching his hometown parade, just as he has probably done for 40 years or longer.

I saw a young Marine, in full dress uniform salute one of the Masons marching with ManBoy as he passed. In my mind's eye I saw MW, ManBoy's childhood friend, who is himself a Marine who has done service in Iraq. Pride filled my heart as the tears filled my eyes.

As we passed the Grand Marshall our groups were announced and met with much applause and approval. And SIX and CC were astounded to hear the man I had seen saluted being thanked for his service on D-Day on Omaha Beach.

When we returned to the lodge after the parade for lunch, CC approached this man and asked if it was true.
"No", the man replied. "He got it wrong. I wasn't at Omaha, I had an easy time of it. I hit land at Utah Beach."

CC and SIX shook his hand and told him thank you.

And they meant it.

And I was so very proud of an 11 and a 13 year old boy, who showed in that one short morning of community duty, the men they are becoming.

My heart swelled with pride and my eyes filled with tears and I thought...

Charlie and Kurt would be so very proud of them, their little brothers.

I know I am.

PS- I read a post at Blue Cotton Memory yesterday... it's full of wonderful quotes by George Washington, Ronald Reagan, GW Bush, and my all-time favorite, Dwight Eisenhower.

Veteran's Day... a lesson and a Thank You... No,Really!

Today is Veteran's Day.

A day set aside to honor those who have served to protect and defend our country.

Everyone knows that. We learned about it in grade school- you know back when the holocaust was real and the 'Cold War' was still being fought?

But what many people may not remember, or possibly never really learned way back when, is that Veteran's Day was originally Armistice Day.

What is Armistice you may ask... again because you were too busy watching Nixon being impeached on TV or listening to your grandfather rant how the Russians were planning to take over the world to remember what your teacher was telling you in school.

Armistice is a cessation of fighting by mutual agreement between all parties involved.

And Armistice Day was originally intended as a remembrance of the Armistice Treaty that went into effect at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918, thereby effectively ending the First World War... or as it was called by many, "The War To End All Wars"... well, until the next one that is.

So, November 11th at 11:00 am is when the guns stopped shooting and the soldiers stopped marching and the tanks stopped rolling in 1918. And those left standing were able to return to their homes and families in time for Christmas and the Peace-full New Year of 1919.

But the Armistice did not last because, well, let's face it, we ARE human after all, and eternal peace and happiness just aren't part of the genetic code of our species.

Someone had to decide they were "The Man" and start taking over the smaller and less adequately defended countries in Europe-- oh so slyly and quietly so that the bigger, badder nations across the globe did not realize exactly what was happening until it was almost too late.

And of course, The US being the Defender of the Defense-less, and Global Conscience that it is, we got involved. Oh- I mean before Pearl Harbor- we had pilots flying for the RAF out of Canada and Great Britain, we had intelligence personnel in Europe sending back some not-so-nice reports on Adolph and Friends and there were discussions in the governmental bodies about how and when we should intercede.

Then Pearl Harbor happened and just how much trouble Adolph and his Pals in Italy and Japan had gotten into became alarmingly apparent.

Thus the US was thrown into World War II, and although it was not our brightest hour, it was certainly not a good idea to piss us off from the get go.
Japan was not very smart about that, or they under estimated us as a military force? Maybe it is because we frown on killing perfectly good people by using airplanes as bombs like those crazy Kamakzi guys. But hey, maybe it was something else.

So WWII happened. Lots more of our young men died defending those in need across the globe against a mad man, who had some serious mental-health and self-love issues, because he could talk a good game.

That 'War to End All Wars' ended in 1945, and not a moment too soon for those interred in concentration camps across Eastern Europe.

In 1954- only 9 years after WWII ended and a year after the Korean Conflict- cuz I do remember learning in school that it was NOT a war, just a conflict where people got killed... a lot, had been ... er, un-conflicted?
Anyway- 1954 saw the signing of a bill making Veteran's Day a day to honor American veterans of all wars by Dwight Eisenhower, who was himself a great veteran and who said... ( I had to put a quote of his here because he is my favorite president)...
"On that day let us solemnly remember the sacrifices of those who fought so valiantly on the seas, in the air and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom, and let us reconsecrate ourselves to the task of promoting an enduring peace so that their efforts shall not have been in vain."

Since that proclamation was made 51 years ago many more veterans have arrived on the scene... From the cuban conflict, Operation Desert Storm, Viet Nam, Operation Iraqi Freedom and so many more that I am sure We, The People have no idea ever happened.

For ALL of those Veterans I want to say thank you... and I include those who are left who bear a tatoo identifying them as true veterans of war because, unlike American History books who barely mention the "alleged holocaust" I believe that their lives were endagered, taken and tossed aside without care... and I KNOW that without OUR Veterans of that war, and the many since, history books the world over would be filled with more atrocities than even I can imagine, and let me tell you, I have a really good imagination!

So- Thank You to Marty, Vic, David, Steph, Dad, Uncle Dave, Wink, Mr. Schuyler, Matthew, Smitty, Charlie Cartwright- KIA Afghanistan November 2009, and those whose names I cannot remember and those whose names I have never known... you are ALL to me like family... the family of Man-Kind with the emphasis on KIND.

Thinking too Hard? Or not Enough?

I will admit that in recent years I have wondered if I have missed my calling, or more so, perhaps I am being called to something more but have not yet answered...
my most fervent wish in life is that I make a difference in someone's life, that the lessons I have learned- most heartbreakingly- will be able to be turned into something helpful and positive to others...
Ok- it is time for me to go back to reading my email and stop philosophizing... or thinking so hard.
My weekend was quiet and productive. Steam cleaned an entire room, scrubbed all the hardwood and kitchen floors, cleaned out the cabinets and washed all the dishes in the back of said cabinets that were covered in dust and pollen and other... cleaned the pool then sat by said pool and read, not one, but two books.
But best of all, I got to spend the early morning hours outside enjoying the cool breezes, pale sunlight filtering thru the hazy clouds and listening to the music in the voices of the tree frogs, hummingbirds, chickadees and pileated woodpecker ( that insists on tapping away on my shingles!) and acknowledging that my wants will come when it is time (but darn it the lottery or a contract on my house NOW would be wonderful).
I am always telling my children that things happen for a reason, we just do not always understand or know the reason at that time. I also tell them that things work out the way they are supposed to, when they are supposed to. This is a lesson I have been privy to over and over again all my life, and one that I am still trying patiently to learn.
In the words of the great music legend, Freddy Mercury, I Want It All and I Want It Now!

Old Friends New Again

Through the miracle that is the World Wide Web many things have been made possible. People are able to find jobs, continue their educations, find meaningful relationships, spend money on just about anything you can imagine, sell just about anything you can imagine... and find and catch up with old friends and acquaintances.
This last is what I have found interesting in the Social Networking scheme of things. Before the WWW, Social Networking is what happened when dinner parties for the boss and co-workers were thrown by ambtitous ladder climbers; cocktail parties on Friday evenings were standard operating procedure with an open door policy to all the couples in the neighborhood; back yard BBQ's and pool parties with the parents and kids from your children's little league teams were held to celebrate another game-win or lose. These were the tools of Social Networking of yesteryear.
How is it done today? Why on Classmates, FaceBook, Twitter, MySpace of course. On these inventions from the Geeks of our youth we can seek out and contact people we once knew, or knew of, with a relative anonymity that one cannot get at a Backyard BBQ.
And with this certain guise of distance found on the WWW it seems that more and more people are opening up to those who contact them from their past, and are in turn doing the same. In the not so distant past this exercise of finding out about and then contacting someone from your past may have been considered stalking. But on Facebook or Classmates it has the appearance of just being old friends dropping in to say Hi! without actually doing the dropping in part. I have found, and been found by, more people than I can even imagine. O fcourse my friends list can be divided into several groups- School Alumni I have contacted because of the reunion I am planning this year; People from the neighborhood I grew up in , which includes classmates and those who moved before attending highschool; and people from my children's extracurricular activities like sports, DeMolay and Rainbow.
This new Social Networking has allowed me, like many others, to connect and interact with others with similar interests and shared memories, without neglecting our work and home committments. It has also been very instrumental in helping me to find my Niche in life.
I have found that I am a facilitator. I have helped others to find homes, jobs, loved ones and ones to love just by knowing them and passing along info that I think they could use- a name , a link, an email address, a job posted on a site... and I find that I like it.
Now I need a facilitator to help me sell my house and get my family moved-- no takers there I see!
Until then I will continue to contact old classmates and neighbors to pass on the Reunion and occasional get togethers that now occur on a regualr basis because of the WWW and the Social Networking found there. I will also continue to email and Facebook old friends and when ever possible, meet them face to face for some old-fashioned Social Networking. Because that is truly the best kind there is. This new fangled Facebook and Twitter and Im-ing is fine, but there just is no substitute for a Saturday afternoon filled with the laughter of family and friends- old and new- coming together to share their time and thier lives with each other. To forge the bond that makes acquaintances become true friends.
So while you are reading my blog, I do appreciate it, make sure you schedule time for a phone call or a lunch or shopping date with an old friend this week. And take the time to get know some of your acquaintances a little better... an afternoon at the mall sounds like fun, don't ya think?
You will be amazed at how easy it is to make Old Friends New Again with just a little of your REAL time spent in their company.
Go Ahead... Try It!