Moral Outrage

I am a nice person.
Perhaps too nice.

I am not a gossip-monger.
Nor do I spread rumors or tell tales.

I do keep in touch with people from the past for various reasons.
When asked how So and So is doing by WhomEver I pass along public knowledge types of information.

Things like...
She got married to That Guy and has 2.2 beautifully behaved children and lives in a house on a hill in the middle of NoWhereVille, GA.
You know, the kind of stuff that you can find if you were to Google someone.

I am nice, but not stupid...
or so I thought.
Until today.
When I opened an email and was floored...

Someone contacted me under false pretenses.
Someone would like me to tell tales, pass along misinformation, rumors and innuendo...?
provide names of others who would do the same?

Well....
I know nothing.
I will continue to know nothing.
and that is the truth... the whole truth...
and nothing is to be gained by trying to make the truth anything but what it is.

Who Inspires You... I mean Me

Today is Wednesday. But then, you already knew that.
What you didn't know is that I am trying something new, blog-wise, that is, thanks to a wonderful blog I stumbled across in the wee hours of the morning.
INSPIRE

Today's topic is one posed by Ron Cooper on his companion page on FaceBook-
Who Inspires U?

I wrote this poem many, many years ago... around the time a lovely person gave me inspiration, among other things. Over the years since, I have lived with these same feelings, always finding that thoughts of her made me feel better and more sure of myself.
Putting myself out there for criticism is hard, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Right?

Glass Bottle

I'm in a glass bottle
Trying to get out
Nobody hears me
Nobody listens
Please open the bottle
So can get out
And be free
Of my Invisible Prison

Who Inspires U?

Her name was Mamie. But everyone just called her Mama.
She wasn't my mother, but she protected me with the fierceness of a She-Lion protecting a cub when I was endangered by others. Adults. Those who should not have cast judgement or labeled me without attempting to know something about me first.
I was attacked, physically, by a woman whose son had a crush on me. We were in high school. I was older by a year. I was nice to him when he was new to the school, the town. I never intended to anything other than be nice. A friend.

My kindness was turned against me.
I was called Slut. Jezebel. Whore.
I was slapped. Pushed to the ground.
By the new pastor's wife.

Mamie came roaring out of the house. Down the walkway. All her anger and disgust plain for all to see on her beautiful face. All aimed at the other woman. The adult who should have been above such pettiness and cruelty.
She cast the woman from the yard. The street.
She came to me. Cradled me in her arms. She led me into the house. Sat with me until my tears stopped. My throat raw. Exhausted from the shame I felt.
No words were spoken. Instead she tucked me into bed. Laid a hand on my brow. Kissed me. Smiled.
I was worthy of her care. Her kindness. She considered me as much her daughter as the two girls sitting by my side.
I don't have many memories of the next several days. Just of being cared for and accepted for who I was.
I know she spoke up for me, as did other adults, when the topic of my 'bad influence' was brought up to the adults in charge of our school group. I later heard that only 2 of those present spoke against me. The rest in the full room refused to listen. They knew me and did not judge.
Because of Mamie I learned something about myself.
I am important. I am loveable. I deserve to have my dreams come true.

To Mamie... Thank you for a gift greater than you will ever know.

all thoughts, poetry, lyrics and ideas unless otherwise credited are the sole property of DHDesigns/Dawning(2010)

Coming of Age... which ever age that may be!

21 is a magical number.
At least it is if you ARE 21.

For some of us, turning 21 isn't that big a deal.
For others, I guess it is.

Like my son, ManBoy and his girlfriend Jewelz.
They had a party complete with family and friends, rum and bbq'd pork, birthday cake and beer.

ManBoy loves to barbecue.
He smoked a pork loin and cooked up burgers on the grill... real charcoal only!
Made his own spicy sauce, mixed up a rub and, VOILA', yummy!

Jewelz made the potato salad... I BOUGHT the cake and the rest of the food...
oh, except for the homemade mac & cheese... that I did make.

I look back at when I turned 21 and just don't think it was such a big deal. Maybe it was and I just can't remember that far back...

but I don't think so.

I was married with 2 kids, a mortgage and a full time job by then, so maybe in the grand scheme of things, 21 WAS just another number for me.

The final rite of passage to adulthood has been made by my 3rd child.
Only 3 more to go...

I'm not sure I'll live that long...
3 more teens just might be the end of me...

But I don't think so!

Did I mention BratChild turned 13 TODAY?

Yeah, I'm trying NOT to remember it too.

I want my kids to be productive members of society... is that too much to ask? Apparently...

Kids.

I have some.

Actually I have 6.

Of the 6 that I gave birth to, have loved and nurtured, have given up part of my life for, 5 still live at home.

One is 25. She's between jobs after a year teaching overseas. She needs somewhere to use as a home base until she finds a new gig stateside. I get that. She needs a job so she can move on, until then, she's at home.
With me.
And the other 4.

Another of the Still. AT. HOME. crew is 20. He WAS in college, but found partying was not conducive to one's academic career. Me work 3 jobs, him party and miss exams... This was a problem...
He is now employed full time.
His plan is to work his way through school. Yay him!
MY PLAN is that he move out and make his own way in the world, VERY SOON! YAY ME!

THE OTHERS are in middle school.

Teens and Tweens are such wonderful creatures. Or they would be, if they belonged to someone else.
But they are mine and, well, I'm stuck with them.

The Boys, 14 and 11, share a large room. They do not share much else.

Or at least they hadn't until recently.
They started playing the same video games and music.

Then, they started keeping their room neater than usual.

I'm not sure if they're using this tactic to keep me out of their room so I-

1) won't nag about dirty socks hanging from ceiling fans, or

2) won't find the burn mark in the carpet, broken window pane, stack of moldy dishes in the laundry hamper... any, or all, of these is highly likely.

I stand in the open door, see the nearly made bed and the stack of school books and binders, on and next to the shared desk, and imagine they are actually trying to make me happy.

Rose-Colored Glasses anyone?

Last, but not least, is a 12 year old girl-child.

She THINKS she is grown up enough to do as she pleases.

Luckily, for her, it pleases her to keep her room clean, make her bed and do her own laundry...

This pleases me, so I let her be. Most of the time.

Unfortunately, it also pleases her to wear black eye liner and mascara that would give Elvira- Mistress of the Dark a run for her money.
(picture courtesy www.elvira.com)

It also pleases her to draw and write on, not only her arms and hands, but her jeans as well. Then she tears them !

These things do not please me. I give her some leeway to express her individuality.
But, permanent marker signatures and hieroglyphics on $40.00 jeans... seriously, why?

I have to choose my battles carefully... it's the only way we will both live until she is old enough to move out.

The eye make-up she swears she isn't wearing... okay she looks like a raccoon, but really?

She'll figure that out soon enough.

Trashing her clothes?
She wants to wear a comic strip and rags, who am I to repress creativity?

She'll realize that being creative and unique comes with a price...

As soon as she gets the bill... $40.00 a pair PLUS alterations...

This will be a battle worth having... Ahhhhh, the joys of parenthood strike again!

WOW, iPods and Growing UP?

Today is my youngest child's 11th birthday.

Now when did that happen? He was just a little guy with strawberry blonde hair, big blue eyes and the most adorable dimple in his chin... and now he is this tall, lanky, freckle-face young man, who still has the most awesome blue eyes and dimples to die for by the way.

I know the kids grow up. I mean we would all go insane if they didn't, but really, they are growing OLDER sooner than they used to.

My oldest child is now 29. I remember her playing with friends when she was 11... playing with dolls and playing "teacher".

Now 11 year olds play video games and hang out on the computer gaming and reading their email... well, not mine of course since I think kids that young should have more cerebral pursuits...

OKAY! You got me. I DO think they should have more mentally stimulating activities, but my kids do play World of Warcraft (or WOW as it is affectionately known in our home) and have PSPs, iPods, Playstation, X-Box and Nintendo gaming systems.
They also have a large selection of DVDs to watch should they tire of video games.
Oh, and yes they have books... thousands of books are in our home and YES! the kids have actually read them, not just used them to prop up broken desk legs or hold down science fair projects while they are drying.

The one thing that they DO NOT HAVE is a cell phone. No phone until they can pay for it themselves. And I mean go to the store and get their own account and pay the bills themselves.
My 3 older kids had to do it that way so the 3 younger ones are stuck with it.

So now that my baby is 11 and no longer thinks he is my baby, what do I do?

I throw a frickin' party that's what I do!
Only 7 more years and the last one will be of an age to fend for himself... not that he will since his 20 year old brother is still living at home and is not financially secure, but he will be old enough that he could be on his own.

The count-down has begun... I still miss the little boy that was, but I am looking forward to meeting the man he will become... and celebrating his achievements over the next few years on his way to being that man.

Oh, and the vacation I will be able to go on once he has left for college... well, if I can afford one...