Modest is...As Modest Does?

Today's Post is using one of Mama Kat's  prompts...

                   And the winner is ...

                          Prompt #1!

A blog post inspired by the word: Modest

Modest is an adjective. The definition is as follows:

1) unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities or achievements.

2) relatively moderate, limited, or small

As I sit here thinking about this word I am struck by just how often it is used to describe so many things in life.

When starting out in your career...usually just out of school...your income is described as Modest by your parents when they talk to their friends because....

Well, paltry or measley just makes you sound like a slacker.

And your first home?

Yep, that's a modest row home or bungalow or cape cod...because telling your co-workers you live in a shoe box with windows would be humiliating... or a glorified shed.

And then there are the myriad decorating books that give advice on how to make your modest home, loft or efficiency appear larger, grander, more....everything.

As if your guests won't notice that the couch doubles as your bed or that your kitchen and bathroom  sink are one in the same.

Modest clothing covers those areas of the body that are considered improper to show...

but what exactly the criteria for that determination is seems to depend largely upon the person wearing them.

In Victorian times arms and ankles were not to be shown,...

but cleavage falling out so as to leave nothing to the imagination was okay....as long as you were of the upper classes...the poor people all seem to look  like nuns in comparison...

In the 40's ankles could be seen,.. but do not leave home 

with your head uncovered...even if you were wearing a ghastly rendition of a bird's nest or flower arrangement.

( which btw are neither unassuming nor moderate)

Modest attire in the 1960's and 70's consisted of mini skirts with slight v-necks, long sleeves...

( although being small or limited does seems to be appropriate here)

and bell-bottom skin tight low-cut pant suits often without the proper foundation garments...

and to think...

Those young girls are the Grandmas of today!

The concept of what Modest is has changed over the decades...centuries even.

But one thing remains the same...

Modest does not always mean bad...or good...

because really...

It's all in the eyes...

Or minds...

of the beholder....

or recent grad, or new home owner, or fashionista or...

TheBusyMom who really thinks that those girls at the Homecoming Dance last year ...

the ones that could not bend over without everyone in sight knowing they were wearing a thong and needed a serious Brazilian... 

Yeah...they looked a lot like this only make those black mesh thigh highs and 6 inch hooker heels!
(photo from www.walmart-people.com...yes, these people do walk around in public like this!)

Could benefit from someone teaching them the meaning of the word Modest...

and maybe a dictionary for Christmas so they can look up the definition of the word : Tacky

Just Say NO!

Just say No! ... to drugs, to alcohol, to cheating, to lying, to living above your means, to judging others, to wasting resources... these are the messages we hear constantly via family, friends, media.
But there are other things some of us should say NO! to. Things we are ashamed to talk about. Things that we are afraid will make us look bad in other's eyes.
I am one of those people who should say NO! a lot more often than I do. And not to bad things...
I am ashamed to say that I should say NO! to requests from the PTA, Sports Teams, DeMolay, Rainbow, family, friends... I should, but I don't.
I teach my children that to Give of One's Self is the reason we are put on this earth. To help others when we are able, to think about the other person, or the greater good, before ourselves is how God wants us to live our lives. That if you say you will do something then come hell or high water you do it. Your word is your bond. Your Integrity is the best measure of the person you truly are. If you cannot be trusted in small things then you will never be trusted in large ones.
These are the simple truths that I base my life, and how I live it, on.
Now I have come to a place in my life where saying NO! is required more often than I want to admit, not because I am lazy or getting old or even uncaring. No, it is worse than that, for me at least. I am tired. I am literally tired of doing, going, planning, making, building, organizing, calling, begging- for the schools, the sports organizations, the youth groups, family, friends, and work. I have cut and pasted. Made phone call after phone call. Planned event after event. Often used my own money with a small hope that I would be re-paid, and more often not.
I want to say No! really, I do! But then I get a call from my Mother-In-Law. Would I go to chemo with a family friend- just to make sure he is okay on his own? Of course I can. Oh crap- I was supposed to say NO! to that wasn't I? But what if that were my loved one- husband, child, mother, father, sister, brother... alone in a world of medical terms and unknown outcomes? Wouldn't I want someone there to be with them? Isn't that what I teach my children we should do? I lead through example. My children see me volunteering, helping, giving of myself- even when I have nothing left to give. But to do otherwise would make me one of those "Do as I say, not as I do" people. That I could not abide.
And if I had said No! to sitting with a family friend while he recieved his chemo treatment I would have missed out on a wonderful, lively and intelligent conversation. I truly enjoyed talking with him about common interests, life lessons and lives we lived in the past. I gained more from him than I could have possibly given.
And that is why I continue to say YES! to so many requests for my time, energy and resources. What I gain is so often more than I can possibly give, the lessons learned, the people met, the time well spent is almost always worth any sacrifice I had to make to keep my word.
Almost.
Just Say NO!--- yes, I do say no more than I used to. I am easing into it. It is hard to change the way you have lived your life for 40-something years all at once. I think that by the time I am old and gray- okay more so than I already am- I will have this NO! thing down.
Until then, I will continue to make small strides toward that end. I will still say YES! more than I should- for my own health and welfare- but I still have children that are learning how to be good people and the only way I know to do this is by DOING what I tell them they should do.
So... please, only ask me for help if you REALLY need it... you know that I cannot
Just Say NO!... not yet anyway!

Do you ever wonder...?

Do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?
I do... and I am sure I am not alone in this endeavor. Although, I have no idea why I spend precious time wondering about these things.
I have also noted I spend time worrying about things I have no control over or cannot change.
I do not recall spending this much time on such things when I was younger- not to imply that I am older now- just that maybe I thought about what I was thinking less than I do now?
Alright, you got me. I am older. And wiser? I'd like to think so, but then that gets me thinking about things I need to remember (in case I suddenly get alzheimers or something) and the things I want to remind myself to remember ( like where I hid the cookies so the kids wouldn't find them then I forgot- they're probably stale by now anyway). Then I start thinking about all the things and people I have forgotten and that turns the wheels and the mind skids to a grinding halt reminding me of my class reunion in July ( that I am the planner of and have much to do yet) and the thought of July brings me to the eagerly anticipated birth of my first grandchild due the first week of July which brings me to... wondering when the baby will be born, who she will look like, will she be smarter than the generation that has gone before, will she be successful and happy and loved and appreciated... and why do I even spend the time wondering these things in the first place? Then comes the worry. Will she be healthy, will my daughter survive the delivery without killing her husband, will I be in town when the baby is born ( she better wait til I get back from vacation!), will she be tiny or big ( like her mother and aunts and uncles were)?
So here I am back at the beginning, again.
Do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?
My answer is no... I'm too busy wondering to actually DO anything!